Ultimate - Frisbee News

Should I spend more?

Ultimate Reddit - Sat, 03/23/2024 - 22:02

I'm looking at two PCs https://www.cyberpowerpc.com/system/Gaming-PC-Master-9500 and https://www.cyberpowerpc.com/system/Creator-PC-Ultimate. I have the money and can comfortably afford the creator ultimate but don't know if it's actually worth the price. Is it worth it to spend more now on the better pc or should I save the money and just upgrade my next pc sooner?

submitted by /u/Vizzus2 to r/Prebuilts
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Citymorgrue What's my name guitar

Ultimate Reddit - Sat, 03/23/2024 - 22:01

This has to be one of my most favorite city morgue songs. I love death metal very much and hard-core metal sub genres and it all started with city morgue inspiring me to get into more harbored stuff all because I thought and still think they are the most crazy harsh rap group out. Enjoy ! Tabs for citymorgue https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/artist/city_morgue_420526

submitted by /u/f1_troyIG to r/CityMorgue
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My spouse came out to me as asexual a few months ago. Tomorrow I am handing them divorce papers. They are going to be devastated.

Ultimate Reddit - Sat, 03/23/2024 - 22:01

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Cold-Cake-8698

My spouse came out to me as asexual a few months ago. Tomorrow I am handing them divorce papers. They are going to be devastated.

Originally posted to r/offmychest & r/cats

TRIGGER WARNING: Animal abuse, property damage, domestic abuse

Original Post March 4, 2024

Basically the title.

My spouse and I have been together for 8 years. Our sex life has had lots of ups and downs. Sometimes it felt like it was fire and was really good, but there were long stretches where I felt like I was starving. While they never denied me when I initiated, lack of initiation on their part has destroyed my self esteem and has left me so incredibly unfulfilled. I have so missed the feeling of being desired and having my partner seduce me.

It was really hard for my spouse to come out. They were so nervous and scared. I fucking hugged them and thanked them for telling me. I fucked up and told them everything will be alright.

But it won't be. I cant go the rest of my life with a partner who isn't sexually attracted to me. So i spoke with a lawyer.

Im so worried about my spouse. They are really dependent on me socially, emotionally, and financially. And i know that they love me. They love me more than anyone ever has in my entire life.

I wish love could be enough for me to be happy in a relationship.

Tomorrow is really going to suck.

ETA: just to make things clear... an open relationship is NOT an option. I am strictly monogamous. I am not the type of person who is capable of having multiple partners. An open relationship isnt going to help me meet my needs that are currently missing in my relationship. What i need is for my spouse to be sexually attracted to me.

And for those of you have assumed the gender of myself and my spouse... the majority of you are wrong. Watch your assumptions.

RELEVANT COMMENTS/ADDITIONAL INFO

theyluvsoph

how did this all work out?

OOP

Not well.

I ended up leaving, they trashed the place while I was gone and got arrested.

theyluvsoph

I’m sorry OP, hopefully it all works out and you can heal from this.

OOP

Thanks.

Got a lot going on rn figuring out all the shit I have to do with their cat who got badly injured, figuring out what's going on with their charges and hiring someone to fix the walls.

But i know everything will eventually work out the way it needs to. Just gotta keep swimming.

Commentator

The fact that you are calling the cat, "their cat" knowing you two were married really shows that there was never a partnership here. It was just you. You divorcing them is a blessing in disguise for them.

OOP

The cat is "their" cat because I am incredibly allergic to cats.

I was never able to bond with the cat because even with medication, being in actual contact with her makes me break out into hives. So I have had to keep my distance from her and we never developed a owner/pet bond. My personal relationship with the cat is more of a friendly roommate thing. The cat also very very clearly preferred my stbx and was incredibly bonded with them.

The cat also predates my relationship with my stbx.

Calling the cat their cat has absolutely zero meaning in regards to how I viewed my partnership and is more of a reflection between my own relationship with the cat than anything else.

I have always cared about the cat and have put her first in regards to family planning and budgeting. I fucking gave up my favorite room in the house with a gorgeous bay window for the cat when they moved in, since I figured that cat would enjoy it. Not to mention that I also just dropped nearly $6k on the cat this week because i came home to her with a broken jaw. Money from the emergency fund that I was the sole contributor to.

But go on and tell me again how referring to the cat as "their" cat means I never considered them a partner even though I planned for and made concessions for said cat repeatedly over the last 8 years...

~

wings_denied

I hate to be that person who cares more about a pet than the person in a situation... But man that makes me sad and happy all at once that you helped it. Did you already pay the vet bill outright? You should know that you can surrender the animal to the clinic. Might be the best option considering it doesn't sound like your ex is gonna get out very soon and considering your allergy. Are authorities aware of the cat's injuries? Might not be great to pile on animal cruelty charges, but they shouldn't get that animal back.

Sorry about everything.

OOP

I did speak to the police about the cat. They thanked me for the information and asked for information about what vet I took her to but I haven't heard anything else about it.

I did already pay as I took her to the emergency vet and had to pay at the time of services. Didnt really think things through, just saw that she was hurt and wanted to fix her.

I know they are having trouble getting bail together (and I am not willing to do that after the way they damaged the house and with dropping almost $6k on the cat).

Obviously the divorce is on hold ftm. (Per attorney's advice as a conviction or jail time could impact what I am responsible for). I am very seriously considering rehoming the cat while my stbx is gone, I'm not sure what legal ramifications I will face due to that or how it may effect the eventual divorce settlement.

It really sucks because I don't KNOW what happened, and the cat really is super bonded with my stbx. She is also a senior now and just... oof. I don't really know what the right thing to do is.

But that's a future me problem. Right now I just gotta focus on cleaning up the house and getting the cat to eat again. She has been refusing food post surgery.

11 year old kitty with broken/dislocated jaw has a long vet visit ahead of her (couple weeks). Need ideas to make her more comfy please. March 9, 2024

I had to take our family cat to the emergency vet last night. She had a dislocated and broken jaw that required surgery to have it fixed. :(

She has come out of surgery just fine and the emergency vet says she can be released from their hospital tomorrow. Unfortunately she has some pretty intensive post op care required that I'm not going to be able to handle on my own, so I have made arrangements with her regular vet to board her during her recovery.

I'm looking for ideas and suggestions to make her a little more comfy during all of this. I figured I would bring her bed and a blanket so she has something that smells like home, but would absolutely love ideas.

I've heard of pheromone collars that arr supposed to help cats relax and stay calm. Are any of those good?

Also, looking for recommendations for super palatable wet foods or liquid treats. She is going to be on a soft and liquid diet for a while. She can be really picky at the best of times, so I want to arm the staff with lots of options.

And this is kinda weird, but do you think I should visit her during her recovery? She and I have a more "roommate" type of relationship. Im actually really allergic to cats, I've been OK living with her by taking medication, thorough cleaning, air filters and her and I respecting each other's space, but actual contact with her results in me getting incredibly itchy and breaking out in hives, so even though we've lived together for years, she and I her not super bonded. Her person will not be able to see her. I'm honestly dont know a super lot about cats. I'm not sure if a familiar face would be a comfort or an annoyance.

Thanks in advance. I just want this little girl to feel better :(

Tastiest soft food or treat? Even if it is unhealthy garbage. Need to get kitty eating after surgery. March 9, 2024

Tastiest soft food or treat? Even if it is unhealthy garbage. Need to get kitty eating after surgery.

Our cat had surgery on wednesday morning for a broken and dislocated jaw. She made it through surgery and vet is optimistic.

But we need to get her eating again. She has to have soft food for a few months. I'm looking for recommendations for anything soft that might get her going again.

So far the only thing she has willingly consumed is goat cheese (vet is OK with this, it was actually a vet tech's idea)

Thanks in advance!

Update March 12, 2024

I have a not very happy update.

I told my stbx that we needed to talk. We sat down and pretty much as soon as I mentioned that I wanted to end the marriage due to our sexual incompatibility, they started to become incredibly emotional. First with crying and begging me to reconsider. Then when I had held fast to my choice, they became very angry with me. They started yellinging and being belligerent. So I told them I was leaving and they followed me out to my car and slammed their fist hard enough on the hood they left a sizeable dent.

I actually never even got around to telling them I had already spoken with an attorney or let them have the preliminary draft of our divorce agreement.

I went to stay in a hotel, my stbx continued to try and text and call me. They left a few really nasty voicemails and a few begging and crying for us to keep working on our marriage before I blocked them to get some rest.

The next morning I came to realize that the police had been trying to contact me. Turns out that my stbx went on an absolute rampage through the house. Many of my personal items were destroyed. Holes punched and kicked into the walls. Some very sentimental items of mine are now damaged beyond repair. They even took my 80 year old jade plant out back and put it on the grill. That had been my grandmother's plant. I'm devestated about that. Apparently during the rampage the neighbors called the cops with a noise complaint. When the officers showed up there was an altercation and my stbx ended up getting arrested. They are now facing charges for disorderly conduct, resisting arrest and assault on a peace officer.

The worst part though, is that somehow during the rampage, arrest or while left alone overnight, my stbx's cat got badly injured and needed to be taken to the emergency vet for surgery. She pulled through surgery OK and is currently being boarded at her regular vet's office for post op care as I am unable to provide the level of care she needs. She should be OK but I feel really bad for her, her life is turned upside down, she is away from home and the last memory she has of her favorite person was seeing them be a monster. I'm not sure what I am going to end up doing with her ultimately. But I am doing what I can to get her feeling better.

I knew my stbx would get emotional, and cry and yell, i knew they would be argumentative about it. Those were a big part of why I wanted to have all my ducks in a row before speaking with them. I am super thankful to my therapist who helped me roleplay "the talk". I had already had a packed bag in my car and was able to stay calm and cool headed enough to leave when I did.

My ex still has not posted bail, and I absolutely refuse to do so. They've been calling me from lock up begging me to, but also yelling at me. I have refused to take any of the calls.

The preliminary divorce agreement where I was attempting an amicable divorce with decent spousal support for them is out the fucking window now.

My attorney is fairly confident that with the damages to the house, the cost of surgery for my stbx's cat, my stbx's violent and threatening behavior toward me, and our preexisting prenup, that the divorce will be VERY favorable to me. Guess my state doesn't suck as hard as I thought. My attorney has advised me to hold off on filing until we know the outcome of my stbx's criminal convictions as that can also impact things.

I have a hearing this week for a restraining order against my stbx, so if they do somehow miraculously make bail, they atleast can't come back here.

And on a personal note/gotta throw this out into the universe and get it off my chest: to the person wearing the batman shirt in home depot last saturday who chatted up the person wearing the TMNT shirt. Thank you. A very deep sincere thank you. If you are reading this I hope you see why I declined to exchange numbers with you. There is a lot of chaos in my life atm. But you were a glimmer of hope for me of what my future life could be like.

ADDITIONAL INFO

Here

The cat is at her vet recovering from her surgery. She had a broken and dislocated jaw. It required surgery to fix.

She should be alright, unfortunately I am actually fairly allergic to cats. I can handle living with her with lots of air filters, thorough daily cleaning and allergy meds, but I can't pet her or be in close contact without breaking out into hives.

I'm kinda in a pickle with her. She is 11 years old and she has lived in my home for 8 of those years. On one hand, if she lives with me for the rest of her days she atleast gets to be in the home she has known and loved most of her life, but she wont get to be cuddled or petted much at all. I'm considering trying to rehome her after her recovery, but that is a lot of change for an elderly kitty, I'm not sure what the best thing for her is. I'll consult with her vet when she is eating on her own and off meds and see what they think will be in her best interest.

I honestly don't know much about cats in general. I couod never have them and due to the allergies she and I have had more of a friendly roommate type of relationship then a pet/owner one

RELEVANT COMMENTS

Wunderkid_0519

You don't think he hurt the cat, do you?? Like, purposefully..??

OOP

I dont believe they hurt the cat purposefully, no.

They adopted the cat before we even met. It has been their cat the past 11 years. They and the cat were closely bonded. They cuddled every day and had a close bond.

I theorize that while they were rampaging through the house they were throwing and kicking stuff at random and the cat got caught in the cross fire, but I do not know for certain what happened.

notyourcinderella

A broken and dislocated jaw unfortunately may point to it being purposely done. Most cats are going to run and hide if someone starts telling or throwing things around. I suspect the cat was kicked, but I really hope it's not true.

Even if it wasn't on purpose, get a statement from the vet regarding the cat's injuries. That might actually help with your RO and/or divorce.

OOP

I have! Both attorney and police have documentation concerning the cat's injuries. I don't know if they are pursuing charges in that regard, but it is atleast documented.

~

myboogerstastespicy

Hi there! I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. I applaud your calm reaction.

But seriously, I’m devastated about your grandmothers jade plant. And the fucking cat. Please don’t give details about the cat, I’ll howl with rage.

Sending all my positive everything to that plant and that cat and you, of course. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

Wishing you a new lifetime of peace and happiness. Much love to you and that cat and that jade plant. Big hugs.

OOP

Thank you so much.

Can I give you one tiny detail about the cat? It's a fun one. She has eaten like a half pound of goat cheese this past week. She loves it and the vet is all for getting whatever calories into her they can.

I actually love goat cheese too but my stbx HATED it.

I just wanted to share that, cause it brings a little smile to my face

~

Celt42

Jade plants are succulents. If a single leaf made it, there's a good possibility of getting it to root.

OOP

I found some broken branches in the house and I have propped them already. So my dear little jade will live on in some form.

But it was a magnificent beast of a plant though and it's former glory is sorely missed.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates
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Anglo-Catholics & Protestants

Ultimate Reddit - Sat, 03/23/2024 - 22:01

The Anglican Catholic viewpoint on Protestantism varies, with some seeing Protestantism as diverging from Catholic tradition and doctrine, while others acknowledge commonalities. Personal identification as a Protestant within the Anglo-Catholic tradition is subjective, with some rejecting the label due to their adherence to Catholic sacramental theology and liturgical practices, while others may embrace it to varying degrees, recognizing historical connections and shared theological heritage with Protestantism. Ultimately, perspectives on Protestantism within Anglican Catholicism depend on individual theological convictions, personal experiences, and denominational affiliations. Do you disagree or agree with this assessment?

submitted by /u/colekken to r/AngloCatholics
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Poll of lifetime. Which Aliens version do you ultimately prefer?

Ultimate Reddit - Sat, 03/23/2024 - 22:00

Biggest question remains, which Aliens version do you ultimately prefer?

View Poll

submitted by /u/Vados2009 to r/moviecritic
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22 [TF4TF/F] #Online Hypnotist looking for voice-based sessions

Ultimate Reddit - Sat, 03/23/2024 - 22:00

The basics:

Note: (I don't have the energy to re-write this right now (Lol it's taking me a while), but this was written intended for the subreddit r/hypnohookup. I'll probably make something specifically for this subreddit at some point. But the gist of what I'd include is: I'm also interested in meeting people for platonic hangouts and stuff on this subreddit)

Hello! I’m a 22 year old transfem and hypnotist. I’m exclusively interested in voice-based hypno, for a variety of reasons.

I’m primarily a dom but also a bit of a switch. So, if you’re interested in domming rather than being dommed, feel free to send a message.

About myself:

I like to think that, as a hypnotist, my main draw is my penchant for experimentation and creativity. Both in getting things done and trying new things. (More about that in the kinks section) I’ve succesfully hypnotized people who hadn’t been able to go under before, and made triggers work that someone’s particularly struggled with. I’ve got plenty of experience and I’m very confident in my skills.

Consent is also extremely important to me. I’m a firm believer in RACK and do everything I can to keep things safe and give my sub a way to tag out when it comes to anything potentially risky. I can be very forward and like to push things a little, but I make sure things are ultimately at my subs pace and within what’s comfortable.

Outside of hypno, my hobbies include (But aren’t limited to): Tabletop, amateur voice acting, and animated stuff. I also consider myself extrovert-leaning.

What I like:

First things first: I love variety. I always like hearing about other people’s kinks and trying them out. Even, or especially, if they’re weird. :3

And, when it comes to my own kinks, I often like to look at them from new angles, or explore new ways to express and play with them. On some level, I genuinely find absurdity and weirdness kinda hot.

As for my actual kinks, my main is hypnosis. A lot of my kinks revolve around it in some way. I like the sense of control and power exchange, and most things that emphasize that. Whether it’s making someone cum for me, or something more mundane (And productive :3) like making someone clean their room. Memory play is also a great example.

I like to use triggers to make people feel things, like impact play or being touched/fucked. I also like using real hypnosis for roleplay. Like making someone feel like they’re being subject to more fantastical means of mind control (Like rayguns and stuff :3) or making them experience some kinky scenario.

Depending on both my partners interests and my current mood, I can enjoy getting mean, selfish, and sadistic. And when I’m in that mood, I like things like humiliation, mantras, and subjecting subs to absurd and dumb stuff. A particular favorite being just making ‘em super dumb and teasing them about it.

In much the same way, I can enjoy being gentle, caring, and taking care of someone. Whether that just means a more gentle way of being horny, or something purely relaxing like helping someone sleep. I have a maternal side and I genuinely like making sure my subs are feeling okay and cared for.

Who I'm looking for:

Although it’s not a hard requirement, I have a very heavy preference for feminine voices. If you’re not sure if you fit that category, it definitely doesn’t hurt to ask. For example, if you’re a trans girl, you don’t necessarily need to have completed voice training. You’d just need to show that you’ve put in some effort.

In general, voice-based stuff is a hard requirement for me. I don’t really have interest in text hypnosis outside of a very occasional thing. As a result, I need a sample of your voice before I can show any real interest in a potential partner.

I’m not looking for any specific dynamic, I mostly just like to meet people and see where it goes from there. Short term, long term, serious, casual, etc.

That being said, I really like people who show confidence and know what they want. Even if what they want is, like me, to just see where things go naturally.

As for what I’m definitely NOT interested in, I have no interest in cis men (Including “Femboys”), and I'm not a roleplayer when it comes to hypnosis itself. If you’re either of those categories, and you message me, I’m gonna assume you haven’t actually read this and I will probably just hit ignore. Enby’s and trans men are welcome to message, but whether or not we gel would be on a case-by-case basis.

If you're interested:

Send me a DM or message with a sample of your voice (Such as with Vocaroo), as well as what kind of thing you’re interested in. Might not respond immediately, but I will when I get the chance.

Here's what I sound like: https://voca.ro/1k2c6MjEvwBb

submitted by /u/hypnohella to r/t4t
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The Hollow 2015 (SPOILER ALERT!)

Ultimate Reddit - Sat, 03/23/2024 - 22:00

Wow! This one is well worth the watch. Not sure why it flew under the radar but it is really worth the watch.

This is a surprisingly good monster/demon (?) film. It's rare that when you actually see the monster that you don't suppress a giggle. This thing is really well done.

Imagine the groot but on fire with extreme PMS. The way it moves lends to the fun. It hunts and you can see it weighing its options.

The protagonists, three sisters, are on their way to stay with an aunt after being orphaned in what sounds like a horrific accident. The youngest sister, Em, survived it but saw her parents die.

The two older sisters are divided on a course of action but ultimately go to the island mostly because they have little choice.

Despite being warned about a storm and hints of a curse, the girls go anyway.

Very little time is wasted on story telling but you get enough information to follow along. The action keeps on coming in and the damage caused to the victims will not disappoint. No cheap makeup or prosthetics.

A couple of surprise deaths, most out of sight or just off camera leaves you to imagine what's going on and engaging you in it all.

The only gripe I have is with Em, who gets on your nerves with her frequent disappearing acts. she renders one sister's sacrifice wasted as the sister dies trapping the monster and she unlocks the door. Silly bitch. She redeems herself later, though.

Strong recommendation for this one. It's getting added to my Halloween mustnwatch list.

submitted by /u/WiseOldChicken to r/horror
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I Played Rock Paper Scissors and Payed the Ultimate Price

Ultimate Reddit - Sat, 03/23/2024 - 22:00

So as the title states, I played Rock, Paper, Scissors, and promptly clipped through the bridge and then through the ship itself, falling forever. In an attempt to save me, my teammate started a mission. However, instead of saving me, this seemed to only cause my Helldiver to dissappear completely. The only button that worked after this happened was the Escape button, so that I might return to my ship and continue the mission of spreading democracy.

Let this be a lesson: if you are willing to play games instead of serving Super Earth, you'd best be prepared to accept the consequences.

submitted by /u/MsFrostFire to r/Helldivers
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[H] Games from multiple bundles [W] Turbo Overkill, Vampyr, offers!!

Ultimate Reddit - Sat, 03/23/2024 - 22:00

My Games List:

  • Warhammer Age of Sigmar: Realms of Ruin

  • Destroyer U-boat Hunter

  • Pixel Heroes: Byte & Magic

  • Slime-san

  • Alchemy Garden

  • Dead End Job

  • Just Ignore Them

  • 12 is Better Than 6

  • Hero of the Kingdom III

  • Hacknet

  • Scheming Through The Zombie Apocalypse

  • Safety First!

  • Space Colony

  • Pushover

  • Super Panda Adventures

  • Endless Fables 4: Shadow Within

  • FORCED: Slightly Better Deluxe Edition

  • Smart Factory Tycoon

  • Sorry, James

  • Ultimate Zombie Defense

  • Infinite Beyond The Mind

  • Super Star Path

  • Gunscape

  • Iridion II

  • Shadow Madness

  • The Assembly

  • 8 Eyes

  • Zero Tolerance

  • Colt Canyon

  • Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones

  • Mini Thief

  • Iron Commando

  • Arcade Spirits

  • Epistory: Typing Chronicles

  • OUTBUDDIES DX

  • Toki

  • El Matador

  • The Deed: Dynasty

  • Jewel Match Twilight

  • Prophecy I - The Viking Child

  • From Space

  • The Red Lantern

  • OTXO

  • Sonic Adventures 2 + Sonic Adventures 2: Battle DLC

  • Syberia

  • Golfie

  • Re-legion

  • Grand Mountain Adventure: Wonderlands

  • Garbage

  • Spiritual Warfare & Wisdom Tree Collection

  • Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe Edition

  • Snowtopia: Ski Resort Builder

  • Danger Scavenger

  • Hero of the Kingdom: Lost Tales 1

  • Hero of the Kingdom: Lost Tales 2

  • Hero of the Kingdom II

  • Degrees of Separation

  • Survivalist: Invisible Strain

  • Ludus

  • Heaven Dust

  • Hot Brass

  • Fantasy Blacksmith

  • Home Sweet Home Ep 2

  • The Oil Blue: Steam Legacy Edition

  • Bot Vice

  • Marsupilami Hoobadventure

  • Red Faction: Guerilla Re-Marstered

  • Escape Game Fort Boyard

  • Fury Unleashed

  • A Plague Tale: Innocence

Here is my IGS Rep Page

https://www.reddit.com/r/IGSRep/s/Bo9Ztcdjp6

for feedbacks and comments with 76 successful trades and counting.

submitted by /u/kit_mac23 to r/GameTrade
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AITA for "ruining" my mum's engagement party after she abandoned me when I was 11?

Ultimate Reddit - Sat, 03/23/2024 - 22:00

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/UnlikelyAd5151

Originally posted to r/AmItheAsshole

AITA for "ruining" my mum's engagement party after she abandoned me when I was 11?

Trigger Warnings: emotional abuse and manipulation, anger issues, possible neglect, verbal abuse, physical violence

Original Post - March 4, 2024

I (17M) have a strained relationship with my mum (35F) after an incident that happened about six years ago. My mum was super strict and a helicopter parent, so we fought a lot over my grades and the trouble I got into at school. She had essentially abandoned me, signing over custody to my dad after I had told her something along the lines of "I hate you" and "I wish I lived with dad" - typical things an angsty preteen says to their parent. But that fight seemed to have broke her and she cried before dropping me off at my dad's apartment. I thought it wouldn't be a big deal and I would just see her the next day after she proved her point, but she left me there.

After that, things got essentially worse for me. My grades dropped and I kept getting into trouble at school, almost to the point where I was kicked out. My dad never had job security so money was tight. His gf also wasn't fond of me, saying I was "dumped" on them. I wanted to go back to live with my mum.

I thought to apologise, but my mum had essentially moved on with her life. She went back to college to get her degree and was always studying, and later on was focused on her new work. On the weekends I would get to see her, things were tense between us. She tried so hard to be the "fun" parent, eating takeout and leaving me to do what I wanted, but it was so unlike her, and we became more estranged.

Three years ago, she started dating Paul (39M), a widower with two daughter (9F and 13F). She started treating his daughter's like they were her own and they started calling her "mummy", which irritated me. Eventually they moved into my mum's house and changed my childhood bedroom into one of the daughter's room. I was livid when I found out, saying some mean things about the girls, and refused to go back there for my mum's weekends, but she was confused on why was acting this way.

Because of this fight, she thought I wouldn't be attending the engagement party when she announced her and Paul would be getting married. Besides, she didn't want there to ruin the perfect picture of her new family. So I made it a point to go for the party, and called her out on her behaviour.

I wanted to confront her and tell her she wouldn't have to bother with me after I go off to college, but I may have taken it a tad too far. Everyone kept talking about how Paul's daughters were like her children and how it would be when she had more kids and it snapped something in me. I called her a horrible parent and told her she was trying to replace me with "the little brats" after she had abandoned me, along with some other insults I don't really remember.

Paul kicked me and my dad out, saying I was an asshole for making his fiancée and girls cry, and ruining the engagement party. He said I won't be allowed to the wedding unless I called and apologized. I may have taken it a bit too far but my dad agrees she had it coming after abandoned a young child at an age when I needed my mother. So AITA and should I apologise?

VERDICT: NOT THE ASSHOLE

Relevant Comments

Opposite_Lettuce:

INFO

Can you give examples of her helicopter parenting style?

OOP:

It was mostly to do with homework. She would check my work everyday for notes from my teachers, whether or not it was neat and correct. She also wrote to my teachers to have my place in class changed so I was closer to the front and would "pay attention". I wasn't allowed to use the internet unless it was for school and she made sure to check for that.

She was also pretty strict about my sleep schedule and what I ate. I wasn't able to go for any sleepovers either until I started living with my dad.

Top Comments

neogeshel:

This is above the pay grade of this sub. You are a child and she is an adult and your mother. She needs to do the emotional work of creating the conditions for your reconciliation. If she can't you need to focus on your own growth and figuring out how to establish yourself in life. It doesn't sound like she's going to be coming through on that so you are on your own. That is of far bigger significance than whether you are "the asshole" or not.

Take care of yourself. NTA

heyitsta12:

Someone already said this is above this sub’s pay grade. It is very obvious that you have some deep emotional issues towards your mom and you feel abandoned.

Ultimately she is the parent and she has to take the majority of the responsibility for the way your relationship has turned out. But quite frankly, I think you need to really take a look the role you played in this as well.

You acknowledged that you hurt her feelings when you told her you hated her. You just assumed you see her later. Did you apologize to her? You said she tried to do fun things with you on the weekends but you also said you didn’t like that either.

At not point do you actually say you apologized to her at all. Instead it seems like your behavior escalated and you continued to lash out. Your mom could have possibly tried harder but it seems like she is damned if she does, and damned if she didn’t.

You have made your feelings of hurt and resentment and abandonment very clear in this post. At what point do you acknowledge that your mom is also a person with feelings and that you may have continuously, without apology, hurt her too?

Not sure if I want to call you an AH, but I don’t want to call your mom one either.

NAH??

silvershadow545:

Hi child of divorced parents here. From the bottom of my heart, YTA. Trying to help your child and being strict with them after they get bad grades and get in trouble at school is normal. You didn't like the consequences of your actions so you lashed out. And you got exactly what you wanted.

She was too strict and helicoptering? You hated it. She was the chill weekend parent? You hated it. Didn't want to live with her? Got what you wanted. Deal with your actions and stop blaming her for them and please please either apologize and change your tune or leave that woman and her family alone.

 

Update #1 - (in comments) - March 4, 2024 (same day, 5 hours later)

UPDATE: There's a lot going here and I haven't had the time to look through everything so I still haven't decided on what to do, but to answer some questions:

"Helicopter parenting" - I mentioned some of the things my mum did but it didn’t give the entire picture. Some people say it was just usual parenting but it felt so constricting and it was very different from when I was at my dad's. I also wasn't the smartest kid out and sometimes it felt like I was being punished for that.

"did we have arguments before?" - my mum and I were prone to screaming matches if I didn't immediately do what she said. No, I never hit her, it was mostly shouting.

"did I apologize?" No, i didn't. I know that would would be my single biggest regret. I don't know if that warrants the rest of what happened or if it would've changed anything.

"what was the trouble at school?" - it mostly had to do with phasing out or losing my patience. I got into a couple of fights with other kids who teased me on my home situation but it was nothing serious. As mentioned, I'm not an academic, so there was always trouble with that.

"therapy?" - i spoke to someone when i was younger and my parents had me see the school counselor two years ago but i find it hard to talk to other people. I'm also on meds, which were supposed to help with my moods.

"dad/mum's situation?" - my parents seperated when I was a baby. my dad is 40 and used to work in construction until he got injured and could no longer pay child support. When my mum transfered custody, she began to pay support. I'm with my dad full time and my mum on weekends when I feel like going. Winter break my mum takes me out of state to gran's where we stay with the rest of the family. I can do the math, I know how old my mum was when she had me and that I basically ruined her life, so there's no need to point that out. There is an overwhelming amount of attention on this post that is giving me mixed messages. I regret posting this because of how confused it has gotten me about my parents and childhood, but I do appreciate the support and advice, especially from other people who had similar issues. I will try and do another update when I figure out what to do.

 

Update #2 - (in comments) - March 15, 2024 (11 days later)

UPDATE 2: final update

So, a lot has happened. I never expected this post to get this much attention with so many mixed reactions, and honestly it confused me to say the least.

While this forum was blowing up, I had to go to school like normal. Its been a few weeks since the engagement party and a kid who there had been relentless mocking me for what happened. I thought he would eventually let it go, but yesterday when he brought it again, I lost was cool and got into a physical fight with him. He was given detention but I was suspended.

The school called my mum and got Paul instead. Since she was in a meeting, he came and got me. Things were awkward in the car ride, and we didn't say a word to each other until he asked me if I was going to apologize to my mum. I told him I didn't even want to go to his "stupid wedding". Paul was confused when I said this, and told me that my mum had gotten mad at him for saying I couldn't attend and that she knew I wouldn't apologize if they told me to because I was stubborn. He said she had called my dad weeks ago and said I could go because she really wanted me to be there and my dad said he would talk to me.

I don't know why, but when I heard this, I burst out in tears, embarrassingly enough. I don't know if it was the suspension, or reading all the comments, but I really couldn't hold it in anymore. It took me way too long to stop and Paul was really freaked out so he parked somewhere and tried to calm me down.

I ended up telling him everything, about when happened when I was a kid, and how I felt about my mum. I also confessed that I wished she would yell at me or scold me for my outburst because it felt like she didn't care anymore and just hated me for what I said. (Its f*cked up I know)

I thought if I ever repeated what I wrote on this post to another person, they would think I was human garbage. But he just listened to me and let me get everything off my chest (I guess thats what being a girl dad is, ha).

Surprisingly, he didn't blame me. Infact it was the opposite. He said he understood me. He works with her so he knew that my mum was a tough woman, and he had never seen her cry before until that day and was unsure about how to approach her after, so he didn't blame me for not knowing how to talk to her after what happened when I was child. He didn't give me details but he assured me that my mum didnt hate me, and the situation is more complicated than what I know. Paul said I shouldn't bear all the blame, and if I was comfortable, maybe myself (and my mum) could go speak to the therapist he saw after his wife had past. He was mad at my dad tho, apparently this was not the first time my dad had said he would talk to me about something and just didn't. Paul suspected my dad wanted to get me to have another outburst at the wedding because he was still somewhat resentful towards my mother. I don't know how to take this because, while my dad didn't really like my mum, I don't think he would actually do something like that.

Either way, I think I owe to myself and my mum to at least try and reconciliate, and deal with my trauma so I could let go of my anger towards her.

I at least apologized to Paul's girls (my dad wasn't home so I spent the rest of the day at my mums). The 9 yo forgave me almost instantly, like she didn't actually cared and asked me about dinosaurs for the rest of the evening. The 13 yo is still pretty mad, but mostly because Paul had her give up her new room and share with her sister. I tried to say I was okay if she took back the room (I wasn't but it only seemed right to give it to her after what I did) but Paul said they'll make a plan when they remodelled.

I knew I needed to apologize to my mum as well, but that seemed just so much harder. I know you guys recommended writing a letter but I didn't really have enough time nor did I know what I was gonna say yet.

There is these flower bushes in our garden tho, and I have a vivid memory of when I was a kid, my mum getting mad when I destroyed one only to forgive when I had given her the flowers from them. Its a bit pathetic for her grown child to give her weeds because he couldn't get a word out, but I think the gesture meant the same for her like it did for me.

She finally asked me if I was better living at my dad's, and honestly, I don’t know. I know you guys don't think the best of him, and things did seem to be worse when I stayed with him, but he was a decent dad. And I didn't want to just lose him like I did my mum. She said she would speaking to him after our meeting with the school on Monday for the family therapy and if i was opened to the idea of staying with her some nights during the week too. As of now, Paul had spoken to her and she already made the appointment for us to see the therapist next week. She also spoke to me about anger management classes too, and said she would go with me if that what's I wanted.

I honestly don't know if what's going to happened with school, if the therapy would work for us and if I would ever be able to truly let go of my built up resentment. But I feel like everything's gonna be okay.

Thanks for all the comments, even the horrible ones, got me thinking just a bit. I will never be posting on reddit again but I do appreciate having the space to find the words to say what I needed to. And everyone who shared their deep (and some dark) stories that made them relate to my relationship, I hope things turn out okay for you too

 

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates
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Beren final lesson

Ultimate Reddit - Sat, 03/23/2024 - 21:58

i spoke with the Beren in his childhood home in he didn’t give the ultimate technique for the warrior vocation so what do I do?? ( I didn’t go to him after fight with the cyclops he just packed up and went to battal)

submitted by /u/AbroadNeat4633 to r/DragonsDogma2
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Trevor is MORE treacherous than Michael

Ultimate Reddit - Sat, 03/23/2024 - 21:55

A general misconception in GTA 5 is that Michael is more sane but a snake while Trevor is insane but loyal. This is an oversimplification but is entirely untrue. A couple of months ago a went through reasons as to why Trevor is worse than Michael, including the fact that he was arguably more of a snake, but I feel like I did not focus too much as to why. Here I will show how Trevor has screwed over people loyal to him all for personal gain and Michael, is arguably loyal himself.

Trevor is an huge snake: he kills Johnny out of anger (and had a relationship with his girlfriend while alive), kills Ortega, sells vulnerable people to the Cannibal cult, abuses and leaves Floyd to be beaten (and potentially killed) to make a clean escape himself and tries to kill a hostage in the big score (subtle approach) until Michael intervenes. However, you can argue that Trevor nor those people ever had any loyalties to each other and that is true. But Trevor has betrayed people loyal to him (in the way that Trevor is loyal to Michael), particularly Ron and Wade (especially Wade). He has forced them to become dependent on him (in Wade’s case, he kills his friends and convinces Wade that they abandoned him, and that Trevor will look after Wade, and he does a similar thing in the case of Floyd and Debra, which is incredibly messed up). Interestingly enough, he lies to Wade, claiming that Michael emotionally manipulated Trevor to become a criminal, which is exactly what he did to Wade. He continually abuses and beats them up (and its implied that he s*xually abuses Wade). In addition, the treatment of Floyd proves that Trevor was never loyal to Wade as he also abuses Floyd but more important left Floyd to get beaten up at the port (discussed previously). I think that if Jimmy was with Trevor at the port instead, he would have never put him in that situation to begin with as he is loyal to Michael. Trevor therefore is not loyal to these 2 people that are loyal to him and has continually screwed them over. The icing on the top is that Trevor abandoned Ron to become a lifestyle coach, which sounds similar to how Michael wanted to retire but Trevor pressured him to stay, ultimately leading to the events of the prologue (hence even to people he is loyal to, he is shown to be narcissistic in how he treats them, only wanting what he wants and not whats best for his friends). All of this shows that Trevor does only look out for himself in a large part.

Regarding Michael, I honestly feel like he is a loyal person to his friends. In my previous post, I did discuss why Michael felt like he had no choice but to kill him and Brad. In summary, he feared that they will try and kill him anyways, had he simply told them or fled and this behaviour is understandable considering how Trevor killed Johnny out of anger. But Michael did NOT betray Lester, despite being a massive loose end in Michael’s perspective. These are the only 2 characters that Michael betrays and no one else in the entire story and Michael does actually try and defend his friends (especially Franklin as he tried but failed to protect him from the FIB).

Michael has however screwed over his friends in 3 occasions. He took an unfairly large cut in the Jewellery store (but Michael had a family to care for, and needed the money to pay off his debts at the start of the game as well) and he gets Franklin and Trevor involved with the FIB (but this was a complete accident). The most unforgivable thing he did out of self gain was that he got Franklin and Trevor involved with the car theft thing for Devin in which they did not pay them for (but this was not Michael’s fault, and in a similar situation Trevor screwed both Franklin and Michael in the Merryweather Heist). Despite that, I completely understand Michael’s motivation of wanting to become a movie producer as it was not just a selfish move, but it was also to prove to his family that he is no longer a criminal and worthy of their love by getting an honest career, and also to provide them with a stable income. Hence, even his most selfish move is understandable and can be seen as a form of loyalty to his family. But despite all of that, he has proved that he is loyal to both Trevor and Franklin by helping them with their requests (Trevor with killing the O’Neil gang and Franklin with rescuing Lamar) and therefore, is not only out for him self. Even though Michael has screwed over his friends, Trevor also has as well. His constant provocations to The Lost MC, Aztecas, O’Neils, Merryweather, Triads and Madrazos has put all his friends in danger and resulted in Michael’s kidnapping. And he has screwed over Michael and Franklin in the Merryweather heist.

Michael is unquestionably loyal to his family however. He will do anything for them (e.g in Meltdown, where he saved their lives and still loves Jimmy despite Jimmy drugging and abandoning him and stealing from him, despite the fact that Michael previously saved him from being kidnapped by the people who stole Michael’s boat). While he was abusive to them at the start, them leaving him made him realise that he was awful to then and also responsible for their failures. He therefore improves himself by getting a job as a movie producer and by the end of the game, is very sympathetic and supportive of them. Trevor however never changes how he treats Wade and Ron and continues to abuse them.

I also don’t understand why the game never calls Trevor out on his Treacherous behaviour while continually punishing Michael for his less treacherous behaviour. This is the biggest reason why Michael is despised while people overlook Trevor’s evil actions. The game should have been about Trevor realising that he is also treacherous, which is why he choses to forgive Michael. This would have made the game a lot better (provided they also significantly tone Trevor’s behaviour down).

Tl;dr: Trevor will betray people loyal to him and is still selfish and narcissitic to his friends. Michael is loyal to his friends (but can behave selfishly to them, usually for the benefit of his family) but Is unquestionably loyal to his family.

submitted by /u/Efficient-Two-6467 to r/GrandTheftAutoV
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RTX 3060 HORRIBLE PERFORMANCE

Ultimate Reddit - Sat, 03/23/2024 - 21:53

I have an M16 2022 model with an I7-12700H and an RTX 3060 (100W + 20W)
I bought it a couple mounths ago brand new and I was getting good experience while gaming (nfs payback and MK11 nothing too fancy) so i never thought to test and monitor the performace.

but for the past couple weeks I've been experiencing the worst stuttering ever, on turbo mode with ultimate gpu mode and i check nvidia performace overlay and the gpu was barley getting 50W.
I tried to game on battey (just for testing) and even though the gpu is getting around 50W i didn't noticed any stuttering whatsoever.

I tried to test it with Furmark and HWINFO and the gpu would hit very high temps at low wattage and the laptop would immediately shutdown after couple of seconds, the results are in the video

https://reddit.com/link/1bmbmir/video/okydpj9bf7qc1/player

any idea what is the issue here?

note: the fans are clean and i insured the laptop is lifted and having good airflow and room temps is around 20 degrees.

submitted by /u/7Flash to r/ZephyrusM16
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Themed Alain Squad

Ultimate Reddit - Sat, 03/23/2024 - 21:51

From the beginning of the game I loved the concept of running themed squads (Ilenia and her knights kicking ass was a great start), essentially based on rapport or shared history of the characters. This is relatively easy to do with most characters except Alain since as the main protagonist he can build rapport with every character, and he has a unique class that doesn't totally fall into the rock paper scissors theme of the game's combat.

Most people would probably say his squad would consist of him + his childhood friends Chloe, Lex, and Scarlett + his mentor Josef. This certainly makes the most sense but i wanted to make things more interesting.

I decided to form my Alain's squad as a mix of all races and countries from the world, making it seem like his squad was a true united front to fight for liberation, and tried to center it on the leaders of said nations as well. In the end it looked something like:

Cornia - Alain. Obviously, and the central unit.

Drakenhold - Gilbert. He brought some much needed buffs to the team and is a fellow prince. Aramis could also work as he's technically a prince as well.

Elfheim - Eltolinde. She was useful as the primary way of adding magic dps to the squad and the support is always useful. Rosalinde could also work well here.

Bastorias - Morard. This one is a toss up since you can also make a case for Ramona but ultimately I wanted a frontliner and more damage.

Albion - This one was a toss up. Sanatio makes the most sense, but I ended up going with Ochlys only because the other Angel units are way too far along in the game to consider.

Ultimately, I had a ton of fun using this themed team. The issue is it takes a long time to collect all the pieces, which is why I want NG+ so badly. Feel free to share any cool themed teams you've come up with, whether it's centered on Alain or not. I'd love some more inspiration for my upcoming True Zenorian playthrough!

submitted by /u/ItCouldBeSpam to r/UnicornOverlord
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A little disappointed…

Ultimate Reddit - Sat, 03/23/2024 - 21:50

Went in with my wife today to pick up some reasonably priced rosin to smoke on until Friday, overall the experience today was pretty bad to ever think about going back again.

As I came in with my wife, the presumed manager asked “if we had cash and need the ATM or if he could lock it for the night”. we had answered “no” at the time because we brought the exact amount we were intending to spend and didn’t think to bring any extra.

Our budtender seemed really out of it and had a bad attitude from the start, we got there at about 8:24pm and had asked to look at three separate grams (which I know people can get somewhat irritable about around closing time). We quickly decided on one of the three grams trying to keep that information in mind and went along the lines of checking out as usual.

when it came time to pay our Budtender did not put the Solventless Saturday discount on (which I have received literally every time before this on Saturday), he explained that product (710) was only offered on the discount for a specific time period, which the Wife and I understood. We then decided to get something else on the discount list provided by Krystal Leaves themselves, looking at sunshine and olio (which are very clearly listed at %15 off all day), as soon as I mentioned it, he immediately says none of that is included on the discount.

At this point I realize he’s just gonna refuse it regardless and has no genuine idea what he’s talking about regarding the stores deals, I’m not gonna argue, cause a scene, go further out of my way over it lol.

He then spent several minutes fumbling product names around that would work in our situational price range but seemed pissed about doing it. We eventually settled. At that point we just wanted something to walk out with even though it had seemed like they’d prefer us leave with nothing at all. I would have pulled more cash out to make the transaction easier, but as I mentioned before they had locked it. Which all of that further added to the amount of time he had to interact with us, which it was very apparent he didn’t want to deal with anyone to begin with, he certainly wasn’t looking to make any tips that shift.

Therefore having to walk away with something still alright, but definitely not what we intended to get or what was blatantly advertised to us. We have been hitting up this spot for a while now. It’s probably our primary dispensary for rosin (AVG. 20-24gs of rosin a month) and we have steadily watched the store decline recently.

I don’t see why you are promoting deals you are apparently not honoring and ultimately ripping off your loyal customers, but in my personal opinion, that’s just going to put the nail in Krystal leaves coffin. Especially when this is the type of staff representation you are currently providing. You guys need to make sure your staff is properly trained and informed about what’s going on in your store. Today has given me the push to just go to Reefer Madness or Boulders Dispensary’s primarily for rosin regardless of the price differences.

submitted by /u/TwiztedWayzGrow to r/KrystaLeaves
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