Portland Sports News

AAF V XFL and why XFL might survive from the AAF attack

Portland Sport News Reddit - Mon, 06/18/2018 - 20:51

So AAF (Alliance of American Football) and XFL are set to come one year apart from one another. Both are attempting to fight against the NFL and each other. However, I want to mention one had made a massive flaw in their armor and could lead one to die faster than the other. You think I am talking about the XFL...and you'd be wrong. I predict that the AAF would go of the original XFL, a fucking joke.

Why? Well, think about it, the OXFL (Original XFL as I call it and calling the new XFL XFL2) was announced in 2000 and started playing the next year before flaming out. They also started playing a week or so after the super bowl. Why does that sound familiar? OH, THAT'S RIGHT, THE AAF IS DOING THE SAME THING! Hype it all you want, they made the biggest mistake, rushing it to make it to release date. 8 locations are planned but 7 are official. While the decision of San Diego, Orlando, Alabama, and Salt Lake City are good, choosing Memphis, Atlanta and Phoenix are not. Another problem is that most if not all of them are in the south and West, not one in Milwaukee, Portland, Vegas, Oakland, Omaha, Buffalo, Virginia, or even Columbus and St Louis.

To add salt in the wound, the XFL2 is coming in 2020, giving them time to properly organize in a nice and timely matter. AAF meanwhile is rushing to get their teams ready. May I remind you a famous quote that is "those who don't learn their history are doom to repeat". What does that mean? It means that the AAF play will be awful and people will quickly write it off, just like the OXFL. Soon, they get better but it's too late, people will have moved on and don't care of the league anymore. The league will have to go on the defense against the XFL2 and pretty much lose any steam that they had remaining. By 2022, either just the AAF or both leagues will disappear and AAF will be the bigger punchline than the XFL2 since they at least had the courage to try again. Sure it failed but at least they learn some of their mistakes. Not the same case as AAF. And that's how it might go down in the Sport-radamus book.

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Categories: Portland Sports News

Miguel Announces The Ascension Tour w/ DVSN

Portland Sport News Reddit - Mon, 06/18/2018 - 13:32

Presale tomorrow On sale Friday (June 22)

Dates: *August 23 - Boston, MA @ Blue Hills Bank Pavillion * August 24 - Mashantucket, CT @ The Grand Theater * August 25 - Brooklyn, NY @ AFROPUNK * August 26 - Toronto, ON @ RBC Echo Beach * August 28 - Indianapolis, IN @ Mural Theatre * August 29 - Sterling Heights, MI @ Michigan Lottery Amphitheater * August 31 - Chicago, IL @North Coast Festival * September 2 - Philadelphia, PA @ Made In America Festival * September 4 - Washington, D.C. @ The Anthem * September 6 - Charlotte, NC @ Charlotte Metro Credit Union Amphitheatre * September 7 - Raleigh, NC @ Hopscotch Festival * September 8 - Atlanta, GA @ ONE MusicFest * September 11 - San Antonio @ Majestic Theatre * September 12 - Dallas, TX @ South Side Ballroom * September 14 - Denver, CO @ Grandoozy * September 16 - Mesa, AZ @ Mesa Amphitheatre * September 17 - San Diego, CA @ Cal Coast Credit Union Open Air Theatre * September 19 - Los Angeles, CA @ Greek Theatre * September 20 - San Jose, CA @ Event Center at San Jose State University * September 21 - Santa Barbara, CA @ Santa Barbara Bowl * September 22 - Las Vegas, CA @ Life is Beautiful Festival * September 24 - Eugene, OR @ Cuthbert Amphitheater * September 25 - Portland, OR @ Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall * September 27 - Vancouver, BC @ Doug Mitchell Thunderbird Sports Centre * September 28 - Seattle, WA @ WaMu Theater

Source: https://stadiumhelp.com/tour_guide/miguel-tour-setlist-tickets-dates-guide-the-ascension-tour-w-dvsn/

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Categories: Portland Sports News

The history of the NBA

Portland Sport News Reddit - Mon, 06/18/2018 - 09:48

copy and pasted from wikipeda. National Basketball Association (NBA) Current season, competition or edition: Current sports event 2018 NBA Finals National Basketball Association logo.svg Sport Basketball Founded June 6, 1946; 72 years ago (as BAA), New York City, New York, United States[1] Inaugural season 1946–47 Commissioner Adam Silver No. of teams 30 Countries United States (29 teams) Canada (1 team) Headquarters New York City Continent FIBA Americas (Americas) Most recent champion(s) Golden State Warriors (6th title) Most titles Boston Celtics (17 titles) TV partner(s)
United States:

ABC/ESPN NBA TV TNT Canada:

NBA TV Canada TSN/TSN2 Sportsnet/Sportsnet One Official website NBA.com The National Basketball Association (NBA) is a men's professional basketball league in North America; composed of 30 teams (29 in the United States and 1 in Canada). It is widely considered to be the premier men's professional basketball league in the world. The NBA is an active member of USA Basketball (USAB),[2] which is recognized by FIBA (also known as the International Basketball Federation) as the national governing body for basketball in the United States. The NBA is one of the four major professional sports leagues in the United States and Canada. NBA players are the world's best paid athletes by average annual salary per player.[3][4]

The league was founded in New York City on June 6, 1946, as the Basketball Association of America (BAA).[1][5] The league adopted the name National Basketball Association on August 3, 1949, after merging with the competing National Basketball League (NBL). The league's several international as well as individual team offices are directed out of its head offices located in the Olympic Tower at 645 Fifth Avenue in New York, NY. NBA Entertainment and NBA TV studios are directed out of offices located in Secaucus, New Jersey.

Contents 1 History 1.1 Creation and merger (1946–1956) 1.2 Celtics' dominance, league expansion and competition (1956–1979) 1.3 Surging popularity (1979–1998) 1.4 Modern era (1998–present) 1.5 International influence 1.6 Other developments 2 Teams 3 Regular season 4 Playoffs 5 League championships 6 Media coverage 7 International competitions 8 Ticket prices and viewership demographics 8.1 Viewership demographics 9 Notable people 9.1 Presidents and commissioners 9.2 Players 9.3 Foreign players 9.3.1 International influence 9.4 Coaches 10 See also 11 References 12 Further reading 13 External links History Creation and merger (1946–1956) Main article: Basketball Association of America The Basketball Association of America was founded in 1946 by owners of the major ice hockey arenas in the Northeastern and Midwestern United States and Canada. On November 1, 1946, in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, the Toronto Huskies hosted the New York Knickerbockers at Maple Leaf Gardens, in a game the NBA now refers to as the first played game in NBA history.[6] The first basket was made by Ossie Schectman of the Knickerbockers. Although there had been earlier attempts at professional basketball leagues, including the American Basketball League and the NBL, the BAA was the first league to attempt to play primarily in large arenas in major cities. During its early years, the quality of play in the BAA was not significantly better than in competing leagues or among leading independent clubs such as the Harlem Globetrotters. For instance, the 1948 ABL finalist Baltimore Bullets moved to the BAA and won that league's 1948 title, and the 1948 NBL champion Minneapolis Lakers won the 1949 BAA title. Prior to the 1948–49 season, however, NBL teams from Fort Wayne, Indianapolis, Minneapolis, and Rochester jumped to the BAA, which established the BAA as the league of choice for collegians looking to turn professional.[7]

On August 3, 1949, the remaining NBL teams–Syracuse, Anderson, Tri-Cities, Sheboygan, Denver, and Waterloo–merged into the BAA. In deference to the merger and to avoid possible legal complications, the league name was changed to the present National Basketball Association, even though the merged league retained the BAA's governing body, including Podoloff.[7] To this day, the NBA claims the BAA's history as its own. It now reckons the arrival of the NBL teams as an expansion, not a merger, and does not recognize NBL records and statistics.

The new league had seventeen franchises located in a mix of large and small cities,[8] as well as large arenas and smaller gymnasiums and armories. In 1950, the NBA consolidated to eleven franchises, a process that continued until 1953–54, when the league reached its smallest size of eight franchises: the New York Knicks, Boston Celtics, Philadelphia Warriors, Minneapolis Lakers, Rochester Royals, Fort Wayne Pistons, Tri-Cities Blackhawks, and Syracuse Nationals, all of which remain in the league today. The process of contraction saw the league's smaller-city franchises move to larger cities. The Hawks shifted from the Tri-Cities to Milwaukee in 1951, and then to St. Louis in 1955. The Rochester Royals moved from Rochester, New York, to Cincinnati in 1957 and the Pistons relocated from Fort Wayne, Indiana, to Detroit in 1957.

Japanese-American Wataru Misaka broke the NBA color barrier in the 1947–48 season when he played for the New York Knicks. He remained the only non-white player in league history prior to the first African-American, Harold Hunter, signing with the Washington Capitols in 1950.[9][10] Hunter was cut from the team during training camp,[9][11] but several African-American players did play in the league later that year, including Chuck Cooper with the Celtics, Nathaniel "Sweetwater" Clifton with the Knicks, and Earl Lloyd with the Washington Capitols. During this period, the Minneapolis Lakers, led by center George Mikan, won five NBA Championships and established themselves as the league's first dynasty.[12] To encourage shooting and discourage stalling, the league introduced the 24-second shot clock in 1954.[13] If a team does not attempt to score a field goal (or the ball fails to make contact with the rim) within 24 seconds of obtaining the ball, play is stopped and the ball given to its opponent.

Celtics' dominance, league expansion and competition (1956–1979) In 1957, rookie center Bill Russell joined the Boston Celtics, which already featured guard Bob Cousy and coach Red Auerbach, and went on to lead the club to eleven NBA titles in thirteen seasons. Center Wilt Chamberlain entered the league with the Warriors in 1959 and became a dominant individual star of the 1960s, setting new single game records in scoring (100) and rebounding (55). Russell's rivalry with Chamberlain became one of the greatest rivalries in the history of American team sports.

Bill Russell defending against Wilt Chamberlain in 1966. The 1960s were dominated by the Celtics. Led by Russell, Bob Cousy and coach Red Auerbach, Boston won eight straight championships in the NBA from 1959 to 1966. This championship streak is the longest in NBA history. They did not win the title in 1966–67, but regained it in the 1967–68 season and repeated in 1969. The domination totaled nine of the ten championship banners of the 1960s.[14]

Through this period, the NBA continued to evolve with the shift of the Minneapolis Lakers to Los Angeles, the Philadelphia Warriors to San Francisco, the Syracuse Nationals to Philadelphia to become the Philadelphia 76ers, and the St. Louis Hawks moving to Atlanta, as well as the addition of its first expansion franchises. The Chicago Packers (now Washington Wizards) became the ninth NBA team in 1961. From 1966 to 1968, the league expanded from 9 to 14 teams, introducing the Chicago Bulls, Seattle SuperSonics (now Oklahoma City Thunder), San Diego Rockets (who relocated to Houston four years later), Milwaukee Bucks, and Phoenix Suns.

In 1967, the league faced a new external threat with the formation of the American Basketball Association (ABA). The leagues engaged in a bidding war. The NBA landed the most important college star of the era, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (then known as Lew Alcindor). However, the NBA's leading scorer, Rick Barry, jumped to the ABA, as did four veteran referees—Norm Drucker, Earl Strom, John Vanak, and Joe Gushue.[15]

In 1969, Alan Siegel, who oversaw the design of Jerry Dior's Major League Baseball logo a year prior, created the modern NBA logo inspired by the MLB's. It incorporates the silhouette of the legendary Jerry West based on a photo by Wen Roberts, although NBA officials denied a particular player as being its influence because, according to Siegel, "They want to institutionalize it rather than individualize it. It's become such a ubiquitous, classic symbol and focal point of their identity and their licensing program that they don't necessarily want to identify it with one player." The iconic logo debuted in 1971 (with a small change to the typeface on the NBA wordmark in 2017) and would remain a fixture of the NBA brand.[16][17]

The ABA succeeded in signing a number of major stars in the 1970s, including Julius Erving of the Virginia Squires, in part because it allowed teams to sign college undergraduates. The NBA expanded rapidly during this period, one purpose being to tie up the most viable cities. From 1966 to 1974, the NBA grew from nine franchises to 18. In 1970, the Portland Trail Blazers, Cleveland Cavaliers, and Buffalo Braves (now the Los Angeles Clippers) all made their debuts expanding the league to 17.[18] The New Orleans Jazz (now in Utah) came aboard in 1974 bringing the total to 18. Following the 1976 season, the leagues reached a settlement that provided for the addition of four ABA franchises to the NBA, raising the number of franchises in the league at that time to 22. The franchises added were the San Antonio Spurs, Denver Nuggets, Indiana Pacers, and New York Nets (now the Brooklyn Nets). Some of the biggest stars of this era were Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Rick Barry, Dave Cowens, Julius Erving, Elvin Hayes, Walt Frazier, Moses Malone, Artis Gilmore, George Gervin, Dan Issel, and Pete Maravich. The end of the decade, however, saw declining TV ratings, low attendance and drug-related player issues – both perceived and real – that threatened to derail the league.

Surging popularity (1979–1998)

This section does not cite any sources. Please help improve this section by adding citations to reliable sources. Unsourced material may be challenged and removed. (July 2017) (Learn how and when to remove this template message) The league added the ABA's innovative three-point field goal beginning in 1979 to open up the game. That same year, rookies Larry Bird and Magic Johnson joined the Boston Celtics and Los Angeles Lakers respectively, initiating a period of significant growth in fan interest in the NBA throughout the country and the world. The two had faced each other in the 1979 NCAA Division I Basketball Championship Game, and they later played against each other in three NBA Finals (1984, 1985, and 1987, featuring 11 players and coaches who would later be inducted to the Basketball Hall of Fame). Like the 1960s, when the Celtics and Lakers faced each other in six NBA Finals, the two teams again dominated the NBA. In the 10 seasons of the 1980s, Johnson led the Lakers to five titles in eight Finals while Bird led the Celtics to three titles in five Finals. Also in the early 1980s, the NBA added one more expansion franchise, the Dallas Mavericks, bringing the total to 23 teams. Later on, Larry Bird won the first three three-point shooting contests. Former league commissioner David Stern, who took office on February 1, 1984, oversaw the expansion and growth of the NBA to a global commodity.

Michael Jordan going in for a dunk Michael Jordan entered the league in 1984 with the Chicago Bulls, providing an even more popular star to support growing interest in the league. This resulted in more cities demanding teams of their own. In 1988 and 1989, four cities got their wishes as the Charlotte Hornets, Miami Heat, Orlando Magic, and Minnesota Timberwolves made their NBA debuts, bringing the total to 27 teams. The Detroit Pistons won the back-to-back in 1989 and 1990, led by coach Chuck Daly and guard Isiah Thomas. Jordan and Scottie Pippen led the Bulls to two three-peats in eight years during the 1991–98 seasons. Hakeem Olajuwon won back-to-back titles with the Houston Rockets in 1994 and 1995.

The 1992 Olympic basketball Dream Team, the first to use current NBA stars, featured Michael Jordan as the anchor, along with Bird, Johnson, David Robinson, Patrick Ewing, Scottie Pippen, Clyde Drexler, Karl Malone, John Stockton, Chris Mullin, Charles Barkley, and star NCAA amateur Christian Laettner. The team was elected to the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame, while 11 of the 12 players on the roster (all but Laettner) and three of the four coaches have been elected to the Hall of Fame as individuals.

In 1995, the NBA expanded to Canada with the addition of the Vancouver Grizzlies and the Toronto Raptors. In 2001, the Vancouver Grizzlies relocated to Memphis, which left the Raptors as the only Canadian team in the NBA.

In 1996, the NBA created a women's league, the Women's National Basketball Association (WNBA).

In 1998, the NBA owners began a lockout which lasted 191 days and was settled on January 18, 1999. As a result of this lockout the 1998–99 NBA season was reduced from 82 to 50 games (61% of a normal season), and the All-Star Game was cancelled. The San Antonio Spurs won their first championship, and first by a former ABA team, by beating the New York Knicks, who were the first, and are the only, eighth seed to ever make it to the NBA Finals.

Modern era (1998–present) Since the breakup of the Chicago Bulls championship roster in the summer of 1998, the Western Conference has dominated. The Los Angeles Lakers of coach Phil Jackson and the San Antonio Spurs of Gregg Popovich combined to make 13 Finals in 16 seasons, with 10 titles. Tim Duncan and David Robinson won the 1999 championship with the Spurs, and Shaquille O'Neal and Kobe Bryant started the 2000s with three consecutive championships for the Lakers. The Spurs reclaimed the title in 2003 against the Nets. In 2004, the Lakers returned to the Finals, only to lose in five games to the Detroit Pistons.

Dirk Nowitzki and John Wall in action as the Dallas Mavericks face the Washington Wizards in 2011 After the Spurs took home the Larry O'Brien Championship Trophy in 2005, the 2006 Finals featured two franchises making their inaugural Finals appearances. The Miami Heat, led by their star shooting guard, Dwyane Wade, and Shaquille O'Neal, who had been traded from the Lakers during summer 2004, won the series over the Dallas Mavericks in six after losing the first two games. The Lakers/Spurs dominance continued in 2007 with a four-game sweep by the Spurs over the Cleveland Cavaliers, who were led by LeBron James. The 2008 Finals saw a rematch of the league's highest profile rivalry, the Boston Celtics and Los Angeles Lakers, with the Celtics winning, for their 17th championship, thanks to their new big three of Paul Pierce, Ray Allen, and Kevin Garnett.

In 2009, Kobe Bryant and the Lakers returned to the Finals, this time defeating the Dwight Howard-led Orlando Magic. Bryant won his first Bill Russell NBA Finals Most Valuable Player Award in his 13th season after leading the Lakers to their first NBA championship since the departure of Shaquille O'Neal.[19]

The 2010 NBA All-Star Game was held at Cowboys Stadium in front of the largest crowd ever, 108,713.[20] At the end of that season, the Celtics and the Lakers renewed their rivalry from 2008 when they met again in the NBA Finals for a record 12th time. The Lakers won the title by winning Game 7, 83–79.[21] Before the start of the 2010–11 season the NBA had an exciting summer with one of the most anticipated free agent classes of all time. Two of which signed, and one resigned, with the Miami Heat, leading to a season that was heavily centered on their eventual success or failure at taking home the championship. The Heat, led by LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh, did in fact make the Finals against the Dallas Mavericks, in a rematch for the franchises of the 2006 Finals. The Mavericks, led by Dirk Nowitzki (the eventual NBA Finals MVP), took the series in six games. This was the Mavericks' first title. Veterans Shawn Marion, Jason Kidd, Jason Terry, and Peja Stojaković celebrated their first NBA championship.

On July 1, 2011, at 12:01 am, the NBA announced another lockout.[22] After the first few weeks of the season were canceled, the players and owners ratified a new collective bargaining agreement on December 8, 2011, setting up a shortened 66-game season.[23] Following the shortened season, the Miami Heat made a return to the Finals with the trio of Dwyane Wade, LeBron James, and Chris Bosh against Oklahoma City Thunder's Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook, and James Harden. The Heat went on to defeat the Thunder in five games, capturing their second NBA title in six years. Their success would continue into the following season, which concluded with their victory over the San Antonio Spurs in the 2013 NBA Finals. The two teams would meet for a rematch in the following year's Finals, where the Spurs defeated the Heat in five games. Off the court, commissioner David Stern retired on February 1, 2014, exactly 30 years to the day from taking office. He was succeeded by his deputy, Adam Silver.

Following the 2014 Finals, LeBron James announced that he would return to the Cleveland Cavaliers. James led the Cavaliers to their second Finals appearance, where they lost to the Golden State Warriors in six games. The following year, in a rematch, the 2016 NBA Finals concluded with the Cavaliers defeating the Warriors in seven games to win their first NBA Championship. The dominance of those two teams continued in 2017, when the Warriors, having signed Kevin Durant as a free agent, took the third straight Finals matchup between the two teams in five games, with Durant named Finals MVP, and again in 2018 when they went to a fourth straight Finals matchup.

International influence Further information: List of foreign NBA players Following pioneers like Vlade Divac (Serbia) and Dražen Petrović (Croatia) who joined the NBA in the late 1980s, an increasing number of international players have moved directly from playing elsewhere in the world to starring in the NBA. Since 2006, the NBA has faced EuroLeague teams in exhibition matches in the NBA Europe Live Tour, and since 2009, in the EuroLeague American Tour. The 2013–14 season opened wit On July

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Categories: Portland Sports News

Some more Ideas:

Portland Sport News Reddit - Mon, 06/18/2018 - 03:57

WRESTLING:

Stephanie McMahon: Professional Wrestling's Hillary Clinton

Kevin Dunn: Professional Wrestling's Inept Producer

Jinder Mahal: Professional Wrestling's Spoiled Curry

Legacies of Failure:

Tottenham Hotspur

Portland Trail Blazers (I even have a script planned!)

Non-Sports:

Paul Abrahamian: Reality TV's Antichrist (Thanks a lot, TV Tropes!)

Cartoon Network: The Yo-Yo Shitshow of Kids' TV

Hater's Guides:

2018-19 Premier League

2018-19 NBA Season (Nobody is f***ed Edition)

College Football

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Categories: Portland Sports News

[USA-OR] [H] Full PC Build, GPU's, CPU's, SSD's, DDR3 RAM [W] PayPal, Local Cash

Portland Sport News Reddit - Sun, 06/17/2018 - 17:04

Hello HW Swap!
Today I have an entire PC to sell, a couple GPU's, a few CPU's and a bunch of unregistered/unbuffered 1333MHz DDR3 RAM.

The PC build consists of a mix of New and Used Hardware.

The Motherboard's BIOS has been updated to support Kaby Lake CPU's and currently sports 24GB of RAM. It supports a max of 2133MHz DDR3 RAM, 8GB of 1333MHz RAM has been added and OC'd to 1600. Testing in this config has been fine for me, but might change dependent on use.

Reduced Price is $700 $650. I am not interested in shipping/parting this build out at the moment, but if I find it impossible to sell as a whole I will likely go that route.

I am located 1 hour east of Portland (98672), but frequently visit the Portland/Vancouver Metro Area and am willing to travel for a trade.

Here are some Timestamps and below you will find a PCPartPicker breakdown list for this system, as well as Prices for the RAM and CPU's.

I'm open to offers and will answer any questions and provide more photos upon request.
Happy HardWare Hunting Friends!

PCPartPicker part list / Price breakdown by merchant

Type Item Price CPU Intel - Core i5-7600K 3.8GHz Quad-Core Processor $228.49 @ OutletPC CPU Cooler Cooler Master - Hyper 212 LED 66.3 CFM Rifle Bearing CPU Cooler $24.89 @ OutletPC Motherboard ASRock - Z170 Gaming K4/D3 ATX LGA1151 Motherboard $65.00 Memory Samsung - 8GB (2 x 4GB) DDR3-1333 Memory $30.00 Memory Corsair - Vengeance Pro 16GB (2 x 8GB) DDR3-1600 Memory $140.99 @ Amazon Storage Samsung - 840 EVO 250GB 2.5" Solid State Drive $30.00 Storage Western Digital - Blue 500GB 3.5" 7200RPM Internal Hard Drive $41.80 @ OutletPC Video Card XFX - Radeon RX 480 8GB RS Video Card $200.00 Case Inwin - 101 Black ATX Mid Tower Case $64.99 @ SuperBiiz Power Supply Thermaltake - Smart RGB 500W 80+ Certified ATX Power Supply $43.31 @ Amazon Operating System Microsoft - Windows 10 Pro OEM 64-bit $129.89 @ OutletPC Case Fan Cooler Master - SickleFlow (Red) 69.7 CFM 120mm Fan $8.24 @ OutletPC Case Fan Cooler Master - SickleFlow (Red) 69.7 CFM 120mm Fan $8.24 @ OutletPC Case Fan Thermaltake - Riing 12 LED White 40.6 CFM 120mm Fan $8.27 @ Amazon Case Fan Corsair - ML120 Pro LED Red 75.0 CFM 120mm Fan $27.51 @ Amazon Prices include shipping, taxes, rebates, and discounts Total (before mail-in rebates) $1071.62 Mail-in rebates -$20.00 Total $1051.62 Generated by PCPartPicker 2018-05-23 18:09 EDT-0400 Item Price Shipped Available? ASUS ROG STRIX RX 470 4GB $175 Yes ASUS ROG STRIX RX 470 4GB $175 Yes Crucial MX300 525GB $90 Yes Samsung 850 EVO 250GB $65 Yes Intel 330 180 GB $35 Yes Samsung 4x2GB DDR3 $24 Yes Samsung 3x2GB DDR3 $18 Yes Kingston 3x2GB DDR3 $18 Yes Hynix 3x2GB DDR3 $18 Yes Hynix 2x2GB DDR3 $18 Yes Micron 2x2GB DDR3 $18 Yes i3-2100 $10 Yes i3-2120 $12 Yes - 3 i3-3220 $20 Yes i5-3330s $25 Yes submitted by /u/S7373N to r/hardwareswap
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Categories: Portland Sports News

[SERIOUS] Ringzzz and Context

Portland Sport News Reddit - Sun, 06/17/2018 - 00:13

As I am assuming you are aware as a regular browser of this site, LeBron James is now 3-6 in the finals. This prompted Howard Beck, a writer and NBA-personality I enjoy reading, to interview NBA stars (and non-stars, sup Jon Barry) of yester-year regarding what this means for LeBron's legacy. Howard Beck, as generally occurs after he publishes a big story, went on The Lowe Post podcast to further discuss his hodge-podge of NBA-star (and non-stars, sup Jon Barry) opinions.

Before, I enter this debate, I want to say that I am a big fan of Zach Lowe and respect him as the most knowledgeable and forward-thinking NBA-writer who works for a major sports outlet. However, I was really taken aback by this particular pod with Beck.

Their joint thesis appeared to be that rings and NBA Finals records do not define greatness. You have to look at the greater context. That's fine. I agree with that. But what follows was approximately an hour of Lowe and Beck using "context" and hypotheticals to bolster LeBron's legacy, but denigrate the accomplishments of Jordan and Kobe. I mean, seriously, what if LeBron didn't choke in the 2011 Mavs series? But he did! What if Kobe averaged 40 in 2008, Bynum and Ariza were healthy, and the Lakers beat the Celtics? What if Larry Bird was never born? Are we seriously making legacy arguments based on if what actually occurred did not occur? What if Ricky Davis liked practicing jump shots more than Patron shots?

I am not utilizing this post to say they're wrong about LeBron or to set forth my own opinions about the NBA Greatness Hierarchy. Rather, I want to have an honest discussion about ringzzz, why they actually matter, and how context leads me to my own conclusions about judging greatness.

Early in the pod, Lowe quotes Jalen Rose's opinion that if we are judging greatness by rings, then Bill Russell is the GOAT, end of story. Here is why that is a lazy opinion that can be easily dismissed (and to be fair, they briefly acknowledge these points on the pod).

Bill Russell played in an 8-team league that did not have free agency. Let me repeat that - the NBA did not have free agency during Russell's career and for a significant period after. Think about this. If you had a contract dispute with the team who drafted you in the 1960s, you could either come to terms, or go drive a truck or be an accountant. You couldn't even go to Europe in those days (for pro bball. You could go and try to hook up with French chicks after college, just like you can now. And back then, it was much cheaper and they probably liked Americans better than they have since, well, approximately November of 2016).

Beyond playing in an 8-man league, Russell just so happened to play on a team who featured roughly half of the best players in the league.

In contrast, most NBA-stans agree that the modern era of basketball can be traced to the ABA-NBA merger, incorporation of the three point line, and when two gentlemen named Earvin and Larry first stepped on the hardwood. So if we focus on 1980-forward, we can compare greats who mostly played under similar circumstances. Sure, the game has evolved, the average player is better now than in 1984, contracts are shorter which facilitates more player-movement, there have been advancements in training, nutrition, medicine, and undetectable PEDs, and front offices are much more sophisticated. But overall - competition is relatively similar at the top.

Here is why Ringzzz matter, because as I will demonstrate below, every all-time great post-1980 has had advantages and disadvantages throughout their careers. All of them have been on great teams. Most of them have been on bad teams. All of them have faced teams as good or better than theirs. So, all things being relatively equal, results.fucking.matter.

So for this exercise, let's look at who are almost unequivocally considered the best 8 players who entered the league in 1979 or later: Magic, Bird, Jordan Hakeem, Shaq, Kobe, Duncan, and LeBron.

Magic: Finals record: 5-4 [3FMVP]. He played in a conference with no historically great team throughout his career. He played with an aging, all-time great who should probably be considered the best player on the team through at least 1984 (and arguably through 86). He went 2-1 in the finals against historically good Sixers teams, 2-1 against the other NBA giant of the era (Celtics), split against the Bad Boy Pistons, and lost handily to Jordan entering his absolute apex. He had bad losses (84 finals, swept in 83, swept in 89). He was the reason for some of the most memorable wins in NBA history (junior sky-hook, 42-15-7 as a rookie with no Kareem). You can argue many of his finals losses can be excused by injuries. It's fair to say, in the finals match-ups, the Lakers were most evenly matched with their counter-parts throughout the 80s.

Bird: 3-2 in the finals [2FMVP]. Played against powerhouses in-conference throughout his career (Sixers and then Pistons). 1-2 against the 80s Lakers (went to six in both series losses). 2-0 against everyone else. Played with HOFers throughout his career, but was unquestionably the best player on his team since he was a rookie.

Jordan: 6-0 in the finals [6 FMVP]. Once he won a finals, he won every single full season for the rest of his career until he retired for the second time. For his first 3-peat run, played with a top-25 player of all-time who perfectly complemented him. For the second 3-peat run, added an older Dennis Rodman, who was still about 80% as good defensively as when he was racking up DPOYs, but someone who turned himself into the best rebounder of all-time. Played in a semi-soft East, avoided meeting in the finals against the other best player of his era (Hakeem), caught Magic and the Lakers when they were on fumes, and played in a league watered-down by expansion and with a dearth of top-end prime talent for his second 3-peat. If there's one major contextual reason you want to use to diminish his legacy, I would go with many of the best players of his era locked themselves into 7-year deals, making it virtually impossible to team up with other stars while still in their primes (he was also the beneficiary of Pip doing this). So, basically, his team was the only team with two, top-ten players in the NBA during his finals runs. But let's be real - never went to 7 in a finals. Completely eviscerated his competition.

Hakeem: 2-1 in the finals [2 FMVP]. Laid waste to Ewing in the finals {27-9-4 on 50% shooting compared to 19-12-2 on 36% shooting}. Embarrassed David Robinson in the Admiral's MVP season. Swept emerging Shaq and Penny in 95. Basically, just shit over every all-time great center in his two-finals runs and did it without a true second star. His finals loss came when he was young and inexperienced against arguably the best team of all-time (and 25-12-5.5 blocks and steals was pretty damn impressive). He won his two titles when he was out of his physical prime and he spent most of those prime years on bad teams when Sampson's body fell apart. Of course, you can argue he avoided Jordan, but you could also say Jordan avoided The Dream.

Shaq: 4-2 in the finals [3 FMVP]. Was a dominant force during the Lakers three-peats. One can argue that his 2000 season was the most dominant the league had ever seen. He was just unfair against the remaining centers in the league after Hakeem, David, and Patrick got old. He spent a lot of his time beating up on Rik Smits, Scot Pollard, Todd McCulough, Brian Grant, Vlade, and old Dikembe. Had the best "side-kick" of all-time, although Kobe really was 1b in 2001 and 2002 [2001 WCF: Shaq 27-13-2.5 [54%] ... Kobe 33-7-7 [51%]]. Won another in 2006 as a distant second-banana (like the brown-spotting ones you have to make into banana bread to salvage) to Wade. Played very well in 2004 loss to the Pistons, facing off against the best defensive center of the era at his absolute apex. Had a significant talent advantage at the top during the Lakers three-peat, but the Lakers' role players significantly deteriorated from 2000 to 2004.

Kobe: 5-2 in the finals [2 FMVPs]. Shit, this is about to get polarizing. Was clearly not the alpha, #1 dude in 2000, but he had his championship moments (G4 Indiana to seal the series; 25-11-7-4 blocks in G7 against Portland. Shaq had 18-9-5 in the same game). Averaged 29-7-6 on 47% shooting during the 2001 playoffs on what can also strongly be considered the best team of all-time and what was definitely the most dominating playoff team of all-time. 2004 finals was a stain against staunch Pistons exterior and interior defense, during a time when he was in the middle of a criminal rape trial. Definitely forced the issue in the latter-Shaq years to prove a point, while the Lakers also had a terrible supporting cast (Slava matching up against prime-Sheed is not ideal). Lost in six to Boston in 08, including an embarrassing close-out game effort. The series loss did come against the first "super-team" of the 21st century and he was without two major role players. Guarding Pierce with Luke Walton is not the best match-up and certainly did not help that Phil's strategy was to allow the Celtics to bomb-freely from corner threes (Celtics shot 43% from three for the series). He did lead that same team to a 5-game series win over Duncan, Ginobili, and Parker, when those three were collectively at their best. Rebounded with back-to-back titles, although never truly dominated the post-season in 2009 or 2010 and he did have the 6-24 2010 G7 in a win (people do neglect that was an 83-79 finish of a bygone era. Pierce went 5-15, Ray Ray went 3-14, Pau 6-16, Bynum 1-5, Odom 3-8. This was probably the tightest game 7 in finals history, with so much history on the line that was apparent in the moment to every player on the floor).

Duncan: 5-1 in the finals [3 FMVP]. Only loss required a Ray Allen miracle and Duncan dropped 25 in the first half of that game at 36 years old. First title came in a weird, lockout year when there really were no other great teams in the league. Knocked off the Kobe-Shaq Lakers in 2003. Outlasted the Pistons in 7 in 2005, shit all over baby LeBron and the D-leaguers in 2007, and got 1 more as a high-level role player in 2014. 2-3 overall playoffs record against Kobe-Shaq and 0-1 against just Kobe (no Kobe in 2013 playoffs, although the Spurs would have been heavy favorites). Never beat another all-time, top 20 great in his prime in the finals when Duncan was also in his prime.

LeBron: 3-6 in the finals [3 FMVP]. Let's start with Beck and Lowe. Should we punish LeBron for losing in the finals, when he has made it to 9? Is it that not better than losing before the finals? Fair point. Also, have to consider the context of playing against four, top-20 players in the league, when three of those guys are probably the three best shooters in league history and two of those guys are top-5 players in the league. Also, fair. Okay, so let's just throw out 2017, 2018, and 2007 when he carried that garbage team to the finals to be unceremoniously swept by the Spurs. Let's also mention that LeBron more than likely makes 2-4 fewer finals in his career if he didn't play in a consistently terrible conference WHERE HE HAS NOT PLAYED AN ALL-NBA FIRST TEAM PLAYER IN THE EASTERN PLAYOFFS SINCE 2011. So, we're still at 3-3 in the finals. One of those wins was a Ray Allen miracle, one was a decisive victory of the young Thunder, and one was among the most impressive finals series wins ever against a fucking 73-win team! Although, to play devil's advocate, those Warriors were not invincible and were down 3-1 in the previous round. And there's a very good chance that Thunder team would have beaten the Cavs in the finals {side note: The Cavs won the finals because after Bogut down, there was no deterrent at the rim, so Kyrie and LBJ both were in a fucking lay-up line. Now, if it were the Thunder in the finals, every Kyrie and LBJ drive would end against the swarming arms of Ibaka (when he still moved), KD, and a 7 foot Kiwi. And who on Cleveland guards Westbrook, while the Thunder could at least have made Kyrie work with Roberson. And LBJ would have worn himself out over the course of the series, with no other option on KD}.

And while Beck and Lowe get to play "what-ifs" - why are we assuming LBJ gets another one in 2017 or 2018 if KD didn't slither to Golden State? Would the Thunder not have come back stronger with KD, Russ, Oladipo, and likely Horford? How about if KD went to Boston? Would the Cavs have defeated the Rockets this season? No KD, means no Zaza steeping under Kawhi when he actually used to put on a uniform and play for the Spurs, so maybe they win in 2017? How about the Warriors with their core plus a really good MLE guy? See, you can't just make blind assumptions with what-ifs. What happened, happened.

And back to LBJ - interesting about his teams - he never had a truly dominant playoff run. The 2012 Heat went to 7 with an old Celtics team. The 2013 Heat went to 7 with a pretty meh Pacers team and to say they inched by the Spurs in the finals would be saying six was like Peter North. The 2016 Cavs were down 3-1, so LeBron was down at least 3-2 in a series in every title-winning run he had.

And let us not forget that if we're saying these last two losses don't count because KD joined a fucking 73-win team, why do we not apply that same logic to the 2010 version of that same scenario. LeBron brought a top-5 player in the league and a top-3 PF in the league to the 2011 finals and lost to Dirk, Tyson, older Shawn, older Kidd, and JJ Barea. LeBron punked the best junior-varsity aged team of all-time in 2012. The 2013 Spurs were phenomenal, but both teams had two-All NBA players (although Duncan was 35 and his was more due to the lack of talent at the 5) and the Heat had Bosh, whereas the Spurs next best player was a 35-year old Ginobili or a second-year Kawhi. Sure, Green and Boris were phenomenal role players and the Spurs perfected the pass-cut-drive-and kick to an open shooter modern offense, but the Heat also had a beautiful offense with role players like Ray Allen and Shane Battier. Jeez, did you know the 2013 Heat had 5 guys who shot over 40% from three on more than three attempts per game and then Rashard Lewis at 39% on 2.5 attempts? It sure sounds like the Heat stacked the deck just like the Warriors relative to the rest of the talent in the league, just with lesser results.

So, my question to Lowe and Beck is, why is LeBron the only post-merger superstar who deserves "context" to minimize his defeats and to deify his accomplishments? He is the only top-8 player who entered the league 1979 or later who has a losing record in the finals. And, as one can see above, he's not the only one who didn't have a perfect situation throughout his entire career. Magic faced Dr. J, Toney, Mo Cheeks, Moses, Bird, McHale, Parish, IT, Dumars, Pip, and MJ in the finals. Bird faced Magic, Worthy, Kareem, Hakeem, and had to play the Sixers and Pistons just to get there. Hakeem went through every dominant center of his era and without a legit, prime star next to him. Shaq and Kobe went through a murderer's row in the West every year and their role players were Fisher, Brian Cook, Slava, old Payton, hurt Malone, and Devean George by the end. Duncan owned the finals every time he got there and his one loss essentially required divine intervention in the name of Jesus Shuttlesworth.

So, you may be asking after these 5,000 words, what is my conclusion? Pretty simple and I'll echo what someone who would have been on this list but for injuries told Howard Beck a a couple weeks ago, it's stupid to rank these dudes. Yes, it's stupid. Because as the "context" shows us - all-time greats generally beat non all-time greats when their situations are relatively equal to their competition. When all-time greats play each other in relatively equal situations, they usually trade off winning and losing.

Shit, get me a time machine and send these 8 guys to the same time and stack their teams equally, using 8-man rotations featuring the next 56 best guys of all-time. You're probably going to get a shitload of 7-game series. And if you ran the tourney back year-after-year, you're probably getting a new champion every year. MJ might win one year. Magic the next. Kobe the next. And sure, yes, LeBron will get one too.

submitted by /u/EricHangingOut to r/nba
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Categories: Portland Sports News

NBA Teams as High School Students

Portland Sport News Reddit - Sat, 06/16/2018 - 09:11

Boston Celtics – the one friend in your friend group who talks behind everyones back and only cares about themself
Brooklyn Nets – foreign exchange kid who lives with the Knicks and has no idea what is going on
New York Knicks – the kid that tries so hard at sports, who has a crazy sports dad and can never live up to the expectations of his father and fails miserably
Philadelphia 76ers – the kid in the group that everyone made fun of until puberty hit and now he works out everyday
Toronto Raptors – the kid who has all the skill and lots of potential but no discipline, showboats a lot as well as being a fuckboi, bad grades, and fights a lot
Chicago Bulls – the kid who was really good in middle school then stopped growing in high school
Cleveland Cavaliers – Loud dousche that everyone is kind of friends with but doesn’t really like
Detroit Pistons – the ghetto fat kids who sell drugs
Indiana Pacers – the farm boys
Milwaukee Bucks – the cute girl that is attractive but doesn’t wear make up and could potentially be one of the hottest girls in the class if she tried a little harder
Atlanta Hawks – the girl that wears way too much make up every day but isn't attractive at all
Charlotte Hornets – the kid in the school who has an older brother that runs everything so he just tries to tag along but doesn't actually belong
Miami Heat – the smoking hot whore everyone wants to bang
Orlando Magic – the ugly unlucky sister of the Heat
Washington Wizards – hello kitty Asian girl
Denver Nuggets – hippy stoner with long hair
Minnesota Timberwolves – the emo kid that might shoot up the school
Oklahoma City Thunder – the loud obnoxious girl that uses way too much emojis
Portland Trail Blazers – hipster stoner, wears glasses that doesn’t serve a purpose, but has their life together unlike the Nuggets
Utah Jazz – the timid quiet religious kid
Golden State Warriors – the girl that was average looking freshman and sophomore year then senior year comes around and you’re like HOLY SHIT SHE’S A SMOKE!
Los Angeles Clippers – the Lakers autistic brother
Los Angeles Lakers – the preppy rich kid that goes to all the summer camps and has trainers to get better all year round
Phoenix Suns – the 20 year old that has not graduated
Sacramento Kings – the class clown troublemaker
Dallas Mavericks – the kid in the school whose dad went to prison
Houston Rockets – nerdy, cocky kid because of how smart he thinks he is = DORK
Memphis Grizzlies – the tough kid who bought a motorcycle
New Orleans Pelicans – the kid who would be really good but always gets injured
San Antonio Spurs – the kid who went to military school

submitted by /u/madhouse5625 to r/nba
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Categories: Portland Sports News

Jordan Schultz (reporter and podcast partner for CJ) on how CJ feels about his name being in trade rumors

Portland Sport News Reddit - Fri, 06/15/2018 - 09:36

Schultz did an AMA on r/NBA yesterday and answered a few question about CJ.

Source

Someone asked...

What is it like working with a guy whose name is floated in trade rumors pretty often? Have you made plans for how to adjust if CJ is traded, maybe to the other side of the country?

And Jordan replied...

cj legit loves portland. he wants to be there. he knows his name is floated around in trades, but the guy just works and works, that's how he operates -- he doesnt stress the what if game u know

I propose a decent amount of CJ trades, but I hope we keep him in the offseason. I think the value of having players who actually want to be here is a huge benefit. Seems like there are a lot of teams that get stuck having to make poor long term decisions just to try to keep stars who don't want to be there and it never works out.

Unfortunately, he didn't answer the question about what CJ smells like. Super disappointing.

submitted by /u/_Quetzalcoatlus_ to r/ripcity
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Categories: Portland Sports News

[Thursday, June 14 2018] Ugandan wins Africa prize for bloodless malaria test; Operation Broken Heart: 2,300 suspected child sex offenders arrested; Elon Musk’s Boring Co. Wins Chicago Airport High-Speed Train Bid; Know Your Meme AMA; NBC studio exec...

Portland Sport News Reddit - Thu, 06/14/2018 - 19:35
/r/worldnews
  • /u/madazzahatter

    One of Britain’s most senior police chiefs has intervened in the debate about rising crime, saying social inequality is a cause that needs tackling and that those arrested and jailed tend to be people with less money and opportunity...“children are not born bad”.

    Comments || Link

/r/news /r/science
  • /u/mvea

    Study suggests cannabis does not increase suicidal behavior for most psychiatric patients.

    Comments || Link

/r/history
  • /u/dreamsforsale

    A century ago, New York City passed the first-ever zoning law, and its innovative 'setback principle' led to the designs of NYC's famous skyscrapers. Once you see it, you can't un-see it.

    Comments || Link

/r/Futurology /r/askscience
  • /u/MatthewQuantum

    If there was a bag of 10 balls, 9 white and 1 red and 10 people including you has to pick one randomly and who gets the red ball wins, does it matter what order you all pick, or is it better to go first or last with probability?

    Comments

/r/AskHistorians /r/AskReddit /r/IAmA
  • /u/clickhole

    We are ClickHole. Ask Us Anything.

    Comments

  • /u/knowyourmeme

    [Title Post] We’re the staff behind Know Your Meme, a community dedicated to researching and documenting internet culture, one meme at a time. AMA!

    Comments

/r/todayilearned
  • /u/gmcl86

    TIL "The Office" production crew was ready to film "The Dinner Party" when the 2008 Writer's Guild of America strike occurred. Any complete script was allowed to be filmed, however Steve Carell was also a member of the WGA and refused to cross the picket line out of support for the writers.

    Comments || Link

/r/Cooking /r/sports /r/Art /r/television /r/OldSchoolCool /r/pics
  • /u/knobtasticus

    Caught this legend in Philadelphia today. Simple and selfless.

    Comments || Link

  • /u/MrLandingbird

    Ive been very fortunate to be able to dance with every one of my children. This is I and my youngest son at his introduction to the dance circle. May 23/2018 (Plains Cree Tribe)

    Comments || Link

  • /u/HumanNutrStudent

    Miss Israel and Miss Iraq met in Jerusalem after the selfie controversy. They called for peace between Arabs and Jews.

    Comments || Link

/r/gifs /r/educationalgifs /r/oddlysatisfying /r/mildlyinteresting /r/interestingasfuck /r/MostBeautiful /r/EarthPorn /r/HistoryPorn /r/aww Something New

Everyday we’ll feature a selected small subreddit and its top content. It's a fun way to include and celebrate smaller subreddits.

Today's subreddit is... /r/analog

Its top 3 all time posts

  • /u/czmhdk

    Found a Camera in a Thrift Store that belonged to a Soldier in WW1. Has undeveloped Verichrome Film in the back. Getting it examined and possibly developed on Saturday. May contain WW1 Pictures!

    Comments || Link

  • /u/brettwayneprice

    Soho NYC. Leica MA. Cinestill 800t. Summilux 50 ASPH.

    Comments || Link

  • /u/EricLindqvist

    The Camper (Nikon F100, nikkor ai 50/f2, Portra 400)

    Comments || Link

submitted by /u/kaunis to r/tldr
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Categories: Portland Sports News

Is a pro bike fit worth it?

Portland Sport News Reddit - Thu, 06/14/2018 - 15:41

I'm a relative newcomer to cycling and want to know if you guys think getting a pro bike fit is worth the cost. I'm an ex-runner who transitioned to cycling this year. I've been putting in 12-20 hours a week on the bike with some pretty big goals for summer/fall 2019, including Seattle to Portland in a day and everesting (29,029 feet of climbing in one day). I know I'm new to the sport but for the hours I'm putting in and the limit testing nature of the goals, I get the feeling that getting and millimeter perfect bike fit would be in my best interest. But what do you guys think, especially those who have had a fitting; was/is it worth the money?

submitted by /u/dafastestogre to r/cycling
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Categories: Portland Sports News

Visiting Portland 7/4-7/8 2018, looking for crash pad rentals/bouldering buddies

Portland Sport News Reddit - Wed, 06/13/2018 - 17:07

I’m gonna be flying up with a friend and we’re visiting a friend who’s a non-climber. We’re taking our sport equipment but obviously a bouldering pad is too big for carry-on!

We plan to go to Broughton Bluff and Smith Rock, but also was interested in some of the bouldering around Carver. We’re also looking for rides and are happy to pay for gas and buy lunch if you’ll be our tour guide :) We’re gonna be staying on the western outskirts of Portland.

Also any tips for the area are welcome!

submitted by /u/l337name to r/climbing
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Categories: Portland Sports News

[OC] If an extremely power and evil demon joined the NBA, which NBA team would he prefer to join?

Portland Sport News Reddit - Wed, 06/13/2018 - 12:41

Oh no! A demon from another dimension has traveled to earth and decided in the present day to gather a following to establish his own world government by being the star of an NBA team as he has seen how much attention and how influential Superstars such as LeBron James, Kevin Durant, and Andre Ingram get. He has unlimited physical ability and will undoubtedly be the greatest athlete to ever live. The only thing he has to do is determine which NBA franchise is the most suitable place to set up a base for his armies of doom.

Atlanta Hawks

Pros

  • Major City in region

Cons

  • Not a valuable NBA team
  • Fans seem fairweather

According to this the Hawks are dead last in the NBA when it comes to attendance and in addition to that it feels like they didn’t have much of a rabid fanbase when they were among the best teams in the East a few years ago. In order to take over the world you’re going to need fans that are a little more eager for bloodshed. On the plus side they’re the biggest city in Georgia, so I guess that should count for something.

Overall Grade: D+

Boston Celtics

Pros

  • Historic Franchise
  • Rabid Fanbase
  • Brad Stevens Cons
  • History of Revolutionary Activity

The Celtics have the advantage of having a very well grounded and legendary franchise. This will help them gain media attention more quickly thus increasing the demons audience early on. In addition to this Celtics fans have been known to be very raucous and rabid towards opposing teams and that is definitely positive traits when you’re making your own world army of world domination. Brad Stevens would make an excellent commander in that he can see things before they happen seemingly a good time beforehand. On the negative side the city has a history of revolutionary activity dating back to Revolutionary times. When you have established your New World Order it is generally a good idea not to set up shop in areas that are prone to revolt at the soonest possible chance. Overall Grade: B+

Brooklyn Nets

Pros

  • New and malleable

  • hometown is a very large city

Cons

  • Jeremy Lin
  • Not well established
  • Overshadowed by the Knicks

Brooklyn has yet to establish itself in the “lore” of the NBA. In my opinion the Demon could choose this franchise on grounds of that alone because the first greats are usually the ones who set the anchor for future teams (Although after world domination has been established I doubt anyone could pass that precedent). Also in favor of the Nets is the fact that they are in the highest population area in the United States. When building an army population surely matters. On the flipside Brooklyn is well overshadowed in the area (from what I understand) by the all powerful and forever relevant franchise the New York Knicks. It may be hard to convert fans in the area to Brooklyn fans even if the demon uses all of the tools at his disposal. In addition to this negative the Nets have Jeremy Lin on their team. Jeremy Lin attended Harvard so he must be very smart. Jeremy Lin could have the mental acumen necessary to detect the demon before he can even get his work started.
Overall Grade: B

Charlotte Hornets

Pros

  • Michael Jordan is owner

  • Kemba Walker is an amazing Point guard

  • Holy shit Dwight Howard is on this team too?

  • North Carolina coastline looks like it could be a demons profile Cons

  • Not a very strategic position

Holy shit would you look at this, there’s a team in the NBA that has the Greatest Player of All Time as its owner, the best player on an NCAA championship team, and 8-TIME NBA ALL-STAR AND 3 TIME DPOY DWIGHT FUCKING HOWARD. This team must be among the most successful in the NBA. The Demon would clearly be drooling at the opportunity to join this team that will clearly achieve automatic success and recognition. Not only is there this clear opportunity for success in Charlotte, but North Carolina’s coastline kind of looks like it could be some sort of Demon’s face! Wow! The only negative I can think of is its position isn’t the most strategic.

Overall Grade: A

Chicago Bulls

Pros

  • Popular Team
  • Strong Central Location

Cons

  • Hard to surpass Michael Jordan in popularity

  • Name is too close to Baal

Chicago not only has a very popular team (in terms of general knowledge of NBA teams throughout the country) but also has a strong strategic location being near the center of the U.S. Once the New World Order is established it would clearly be best to have a central city in the middle of the continent as a demon’s stronghold. Unfortunately despite these two positive things, there are two major negatives. One is Michael Jordan is one of the most popular athletes in the world. It will be hard to become more popular than him in the franchise that he was a part of. Another negative thing is that the team name “Bulls” is dangerously close to Baal , one of the seven princes of hell. Were an anti-christ to rise from this team it is possibly that he would be exposed prematurely due to this fact.
Overall Grade: C+

Cleveland Cavaliers

Pros

  • Meth Central

Cons

  • LeBron James

  • Not the strongest city in the region

Cleveland’s situation seems to be similar to Chicago’s in that it has an extremely popular athlete as it’s most prominent player and that it is located in the north central portion of the U.S. The thing is, Chicago is definitely a more prominent and certainly a larger city than Cleveland so it has Cleveland beat when it comes to that strategic strength. The one positive thing that Cleveland has over Chicago is that I hear it has some very fantastic and potent meth. Meth has been used in the past to fuel armies intent on conquering vast swaths of land. For this reason alone I give Cleveland a higher grade than Chicago. It’s hard to beat drug fueled armies more than regular armies. Overall Grade: B

Dallas Mavericks

Pros

  • Devoted Fanbase

  • Generally a liked team

  • Large population

Cons

  • One of Three teams in Texas

The Dallas Mavericks, in my opinion, are generally one of the more liked teams in NBA history. Virtually no one outside of Miami was rooting against them in the 2011 NBA finals and Dirk is a very beloved NBA star. Perhaps if our hypothetical demon were to join the Mavericks the world would be reminded of more pleasant times with Dirk and friends. Perhaps this would allow him to gather support more quickly for his invasion and attempt at restructuring the world. Their fanbase seems pretty devoted so that would also allow for this demon to gather more loyal support. Unfortunately Dallas is one of 3 teams in texas which greatly splits support from the state. Overall Grade: B-

Denver Nuggets

Pros

  • Near mountains

  • strategic border of plains and mountainous terrain

Cons

  • Overshadowed by the Broncos and Rockies

  • Not much recent success

Denver appears to be a pretty promising location for this hypothetical demon to found his armies. It is close to mountainous terrain which allows for easier defending but the city of Denver itself lies on the border of the great plains which… well, I’m not sure what that implicates or if it’s a Pro or a Con to be honest. The Nuggets themselves are a franchise that haven’t seen much success in the past and still could be a prime location for a new superstar to emerge and make a name for themself. At the same time this handicap could result in low support initially. Another negative for the Nuggets is it seems like the city has more Broncos fans and even Rockies fans than they do Nuggets fans.

Overall Grade: B-

Detroit Pistons

Pros

  • Strong history
  • Nearby Lakes
  • Blake Griffin

Cons

  • ”failing” city

The Detroit Pistons, off on and, have been a force to be reckoned with in the NBA for quite some time now. They’re a franchise that I imagine have built up quite a fanbase with their successes in the late 80’s and mid 2000’s. In addition to this supposed strong fanbase the City is near bodies of water which could be a base for a strong navy (albeit in a limited area). Blake Griffin is also a strong candidate for our hypothetical demon’s bodyguard. No equipment managers would dare oppose this mighty duo. On the other hand the city is more recently well known for low land value and citizens that are moving to other locations which is generally not something you want when your ambitions include world domination.

Overall Grade: B

Golden State Warriors

Pros

  • Instant recognition

  • Instant spotlight

  • Strategical Bay

Cons

  • Snobby silicon valley supporters

  • Snobby bandwagon supporters

  • Snobby Draymond Green

  • Too much starpower in general

The Warriors are an interesting destination choice for this hypothetical demon. On one hand he would instant get the recognition and spotlight he seeks by joining the golden state warriors and becoming yet another superstar on their roster. In addition to this San Francisco and Oakland in general have a seemingly good strategic location with the bay and surrounding areas which would make an offensive attack more difficult to achieve for opposing armies. True supporters of Golden State Warriors have always stuck behind their team through good and bad times, and worse times, and even worse times. (and some might even add a “and even worser times”) Those fans would be vital for the New World Order army. However an overwhelming amount of Golden State fans seem to be bandwagon supporters who would flee to better teams if the team ran into any trouble. Fairweather fans are not good for building conquering armies. I also think that our demon would run into trouble with his dastardly plans as Draymond Green would probably put up a fight to his plans and soon after Kevin Durant would take the hardest road by joining the revolutionaries soon after the inevitable takeover of the world. Overall Grade: B+

Houston Rockets

Pros

  • Large Population

  • Dedicated fans

  • Coastal Location

Cons

  • One of 3 teams in Texas

  • Resident Demon already has plans in action

The Houston Rockets franchise is also a very well established franchise stretching from their Mid 90’s finals wins with Hakeem Olajuwon all the way to 2019 where they will win the NBA finals (you heard it here first). This has resulted in a large amount of dedicated fans who will point out Karl Malone bear hugs at any chance they get. In addition to this Houston also has a very large population, the largest in Texas in fact. When making conquering armies numbers are always important. Their coastal location has strategic value as navies can easily come and go into the Gulf. Unfortunately there is already a scruffy interdimensional demon who has made his home in Houston and is in the process of planning world domination, this hardened anti-christ will stop at nothing to achieve his aims so it is hypothetically possible to team up with this bearded demon and together rule the world. The Rockets are also already one of 3 teams in texas which greatly diminishes the value for recruiting an army in the state. Overall Grade: B+

Indiana Pacers

Pros

  • History of ruckus

  • Whole state as opposed to a city

Cons

  • Hoosierland

  • not very good position

To start off a whole state’s support is better than a single city’s support (no matter how big that city may be). So right off the bat our hypothetical demon has a huge swathe of land to use for his plans. In addition to all of the land the Pacers are well known for creating chaos (Ben Wallace started it though) during the Malice in the Palace brawl. Our demon will probably look on this incident with approval and promise. Unfortunately, from what I read, Indiana largely prefers college basketball to NBA basketball and may not be the most receptive audience for world changing narratives by a NBA superstar. Also despite their large area it is mostly composed of flat land that is difficult to defend which is not ideal for a stronghold.

Overall Grade: C+

Los Angeles Lakers

Pros

  • sleeper cells in every city

  • One of the most popular, if not the most popular NBA franchise

  • Long history

  • Magic Johnson has the antidote to diseases

Cons

  • One of the most hated NBA franchises

  • many distractions in the city

The Los Angeles Lakers may be the most well known NBA franchise in the world. They have a very long history of success and as a result of this have many fans spread out across the entire country. They also have an extremely populous home area in the LA area which is the second largest city by population in the United States. They are the #1 team for media outlets to report on so our hypothetical demon will get immediate attention regardless of team performance. During war if anyone falls sick Magic Johnson has the antidote to many different diseases it seems and will certainly assist him in healing the masses of sick soldiers. Being among the most successful franchises the Lakers are also generally one of the most hated NBA franchises if not the most hated. This could result in a more vicious resistance as the demon attempts to take over various areas. Also there are many distractions in the city such as the nice weather, the great women, the fine beaches, and other world renowned attractions. Despite these cons, there are many many Lakers fans dispersed amongst all of the cities in North America (and likely elsewhere) These “sleeper agents” would be invaluable come wartime, sabotaging opposing armies and cities and spying would give Demon-led Lakers a great advantage in the establishment of their new civilization.

Overall Grade: A+

Los Angeles Clippers

Pros

  • Not the Lakers

Cons

  • Not the Lakers

The Los Angeles Clippers greatest strength is also their greatest weakness. The Clippers are not as universally hated as the Lakers but they have virtually no strong fan base as the vast majority of LA inhabitants are Lakers fans. Unfortunately for the Clippers the Con vastly outweighs the Pro. Overall Grade: F

Memphis Grizzlies

Pros

  • Solid franchise

  • Bears are scary

Cons

  • Generally an overlooked franchise

The Memphis Grizzlies have been a generally successful franchise in recent years. They’ve reached the playoffs most of the last decade although they haven’t been to the finals but despite the lack of finals appearances they’ve been consistently a worthwhile opponent for teams they face (apart from this year). Bears are a very fear inducing animal, certainly more so than other animals such as a Pelican (which we will get to later). Perhaps the hypothetical demon would prefer a vicious Grizzly bear as a symbol. On the other hand the Grizzlies have been mostly overlooked despite their consistent success. Time and time again they’re heavily underrated (except from this year which strangely enough the narrative switch and at the beginning they were overrated) and they do not receive much press coverage which would perhaps lessen the amount of attention this demon superstar would receive. Overall Grade: B

Miami Heat

Pros

  • Coastal City

  • Pat Riley

Cons

  • Fairweather fans

The Miami Heat are a solid franchise that happened to be the Wooden Spoon winners this year! Congrats Miami!! Strategically speaking Miami has easy access to the ocean and could field a very strong navy. Also being in Florida they have plenty of alligators to use as possible weapons (although I’m not sure how). In addition to a somewhat strategic location they also have Pat Riley. Pat Riley is clearly a mob boss https://imgur.com/p1DEcLJ and may be willing to work with the demon for a cut of the profits and control of captured territory. His espionage and subversion of the existing establishment could be a very valuable tool in the Demon’s quest for world domination. On the other hand (in general, nothing is absolute) Miami Heat fans have proven time and time again that when they are not winning they tend to not care. Most famously in the playoffs when it’s evident their team will lose and the lower bowl can be seen filing out of the arena. This is not the kind of attitude you want when world domination is on the line.

Overall Grade: B+

Milwaukee Bucks

Pros

  • Deer are scary

Cons

  • Deer aren’t scary

The bucks predicament is that if you ask most people in the general population if deer are scary I would guess the majority would think of those little prancing pussies run at the slightest sign of human life and have a tendency to dive in front of moving cars instead of thinking of the aggressive , vicious , large beasts that deer truly are. So while in reality the symbol of a deer army should strike fear into the hearts of the masses the truth is it might not. This could prove problematic for our hypothetical demon. Animal topics aside, Milwaukee is on the shores of Lake Michigan which means they could obtain a formidable navy.

Overall Grade: B-

Minnesota Timberwolves

Pros

  • Very cold

  • Wolves are scary

  • Promising future

  • Ethnic background

Cons

  • Not a very defensible location

  • History of bad luck

“Soon, United, Germany will be strong again economically and if it wishes, military as it was in the time of Wilhelm II and Adolf Hitler and Europe will be faced again with the German Problem… People ask now: Have the Germans changed? Many in the west appear to believe so. I myself am not so sure…” -William L. Shirer, May 1990. What does this have to do with the Timberwolves? Well, they seem to be in the middle of an unusually high amount of persons with German ancestry in the united states If William L. Shirer is right then this may be a very important area in the creation of a new reich world order. As history buffs will recall during World War II the Germans had somewhat of a hard time with the cold Russian winter during operation Barbarossa. However, Minnesota is in a very cold climate so its inhabitants have adapted to the bitterness of the coldest winters imaginable. These two factors could provide the hypothetical demon with a very strong and dedicated army to establish his new kingdom. Basketball wise, the Wolves are a young team with up and coming stars in Karl Anthony Towns and arguably Andrew Wiggins and an established star in Jimmy Butler. Should this infinitely athletic demon join this team the Wolves would be unstoppable and would garner a lot of attention in a short amount of time. Add into the fact that wolves are a scary animal and this location looks extremely promising as the base of operations of a movement that could overthrow the existing order on earth. Minneapolis isn’t in the most defensible of locations as it's in the middle of the plains, but the cold could help alleviate some of the pressure. Unfortunately it seems that the franchise is cursed. The Timberwolves only just barely made this last year’s playoffs for the first time since the Kevin Garnett era and during the Kevin Garnett era they were never really able to put it together to reach the finals (though they did make the Western Conference Finals in 2004). The curse alone could prevent the demon’s plans from coming to fruition.

Overall Grade: A-

New Orleans Pelicans

Pros

  • Anthony Davis

Cons

  • Pelicans are not remotely scary

The Pelicans best player is Anthony Davis (sorry Demarcus Cousins). The eyebrow of Anthony Davis is so full and luscious that it may be in place to conceal a horn which would mean that Anthony Davis could also be a demon in disguise as an NBA player. Our hypothetical demon surely might want to team up with multiple demons in order to ensure the best possible likelihood of world domination. Anthony Davis is also a top tier NBA player in terms of recognizability (is that even a word?). If the hypothetical demon and Anthony Davis dominate the league it would not take very long at all to get all media attention on them thus allowing them to spread their messages of destruction. Unfortunately I think that Pelicans are among the least scary team names out there in any sport. On the other hand, the Pelicans mascot looks absolutely terrifying

Overall Grade: B+

New York Knicks

Pros

  • Largest City in the country

  • Strategic Location

  • Loyal fanbase

Cons

  • James Dolan

  • History of Bad Luck

The New York Knicks are a very promising team for a hypothetical demon to join as he instantly would be the center of media attention in the largest city in the United States. Not only is it the largest city (high population is good for conquering armies) but it’s also a very important city on the worldwide stage which makes it financially invaluable. In addition to this New York seems to have some very dedicated fans despite the years and years and years of bad luck (The last time the Knicks won the championship was in 1973) These loyal fans combined with a very large population (Or perhaps there are more loyal fans because of the large population? Hmmm) mean a very good place for the hypothetical demon to set up shop. On the other hand the Knicks have had a string of strangely persistent bad luck that include finals losses in the 90’s, a string of mediocre seasons in the 2000’s and Kristaps Porzingis’ ACL tear this recent season. The New York Knicks may be the holder of a sports curse and if that were the case it would not be wise to try to use the franchise as a platform for preaching anti-establishment messages. James Dolan may be the source of the curse, or more likely he is just a sad person and an alcoholic maybe.

Overall Grade: A-

Oklahoma City Thunder

Pros

  • Consistent team success

  • Russell Westbrook

  • Fanatical fanbase

Cons

  • Not strategic location

  • Russell Westbrook

The Oklahoma City Thunder are a franchise that has always been relatively successful making the finals in 2012 and making deep runs in the playoffs in other years. Even after the loss of Kevin Durant the Thunder have never really been mediocre and have always been an entertaining team to watch. In addition to this the fanbase is notoriously rowdy and extremely supportive of their home team. Loyalty is always a major positive in the event of an interdimensional demon is plotting to recruit an army for world domination. Russell Westbrook also seems like the type of guy to want to do the best for his cause at all costs. On the other hand, Russell Westbrook seems like the type of guy to want to do the best for himself at all costs as well even at the expense of teammates. Perhaps the hypothetical demon would not want to share the spotlight with Russell Westbrook. Surely he could never match his sense of fashion and style . Oklahoma City is also located on the great plains which reduces how easily defended it could be.

Overall Grade: B-

Orlando Magic

Pros

  • Florida is nice I guess

Cons

  • LA Lakers Center Farm Team

After last year’s fiery hot start the Magic eventually said “Abracadabra” and revealed themselves to be conjurers of failure. The Magic have this weird tradition of producing all star centers who lead them to the finals and then vanish only to appear with the Los Angeles Lakers soon after. If the hypothetical demon will be undoubtedly the greatest basketball player of all time then I think it’s safe to assume he will be a very tall person. In this event I believe it’s also safe to assume he’d find his way to Los Angeles sooner or later. But on the plus side Florida, at least I hear, is a very good place to live and has great weather year round (if you can stand the occasional hurricane)

Overall Grade: D+

Philadelphia 76ers

Pros

  • Promising Young Team

  • Passionate Fanbase

Cons

  • Revolutionary History

  • Joel Embiid

The 76ers are certainly lining up to be a powerhouse in the east in the coming years since both Joel Embiid and Ben Simmons are seeming to be very, very talented NBA players. They also get a fair amount of media attention which means the demon can attain visibility quicker than if he was with a smaller market team. In addition to the seemingly guaranteed success the 76ers fanbase is notoriously zealous about their team. However the 76ers has the same issue as the Celtics in that the city has a history as a hotbed of revolutionary activity. Hell, their team name is a direct result of said revolutionary activity. I doubt a city like this would welcome the inevitable autocratic and totalitarian dictatorship that an interdimensional demon would wish to establish. I also suspect that Joel Embiid would not take lightly to being #2 (or even #3 if Simmons gets better) under the hypothetical demon.

Overall Grade: C+

Phoenix Suns

Pros

  • Hot

  • Possible up and coming young players

Cons

  • Recent team failure

  • unclear future

The Phoenix Suns have been pretty mediocre since Steve Nash left but with the upcoming #1 pick it’s possible that they’re able to put together a team that can improve steadily over the years. Devin “worst 20 year old to score 70 points” Booker and Josh “Hey, he’s really improved since the start of the season” Jackson are looking to be pretty valuable players to have. With these two along with DeAndre Ayton it’s possible that this team has a bright future. Insert an additional amazing basketball player in the hypothetical demon then it’s possible this Suns era makes a name for itself thus increasing media attention to the demon. In addition to this the climate is very hot so any attackers in the distant future will have to find ways to deal with the unbearable heat As for the cons the team really hasn’t been able to put things together since the Steve Nash era. It’s pretty unclear if this current team will ever pan out to be anything much and it’s far too early to even put a guess forward.

Overall Grade: C+

Portland Trail Blazers

Pros

  • Consistent playoff team

Cons

  • Seemingly cursed?

Portland has been a near constant presence in the finals for quite a few years now and with Damian Lillard and CJ McCollum it looks like that isn’t going to change in the near future. Winning is always good for attention but unfortunately it seems like this team is cursed. With Oden and Roy being injured and ruining their careers (especially Oden) it seems like nothing can go right for the Trail Blazers who haven’t seen a title win since Bill Walton led them to one in 1977. Since then it’s been a flurry of bad luck from passing over Michael Jordan to being swept in the most recent playoffs to a lower seed. In the event that the hypothetical demon is on the draft board when the Blazers are on the clock it seems like he wouldn’t have to worry about playing for them as they would likely pass over him for someone else.

Overall Grade: C-

Sacramento Kings

Pros

  • Young team in need of a leader

  • Capital of most populous state

Cons

  • Lack of success over history of franchise

  • least known Californian team

The Sacramento Kings have never been as good as they were in the early 2000’s and most notably have never really been as good since they infamously got robbed by the referees in the 2002 Western Conference Finals. Since then they’ve struggled most years and even when they had Demarcus Cousins on the roster they couldn’t put it together and never made the playoffs with him. However De’Aaron Fox has shown some promise, particularly in the clutch, and the future doesn’t look too bad for the Kings as they continue to acquire pieces. This makes them an interesting location for a demon in search of a home base as not only is the team in a position to take a leader but also Sacramento is the capital of the state of California, the most populous state. That being said the Sacramento Kings are also the least covered of the LA teams, hell I feel even the Clippers get more attention than the kings do and that might also be because the lack of success in recent years. There are better destinations in California for a power seeking demon.

Overall Grade: C

San Antonio Spurs

Pros

  • Opposite of cursed

  • Strong leadership and front office

Cons

  • One of three Texas teams

  • Lowest population of the 3 Texan NBA areas

The San Antonio Spurs are arguably the most successful team in the current NBA era with 5 championships since 1999 and haven’t been out of the playoffs since the season before they drafted Tim Duncan. Despite this they recieve strangely little media attention relative to their success. Perhaps the cause of this is someone in the Front Office has sold their soul for success at the cost of fame. They have one of the greatest coaches of all time in Gregg Popovich and their front office has consistently selected above average players in the draft outside of the lottery. Obviously these factors are very valuable to a demon that would want the most success possible to garner the most attention possible. Unfortunately San Antonio is one of three Texan teams which diffuses support throughout the state. Even more unfortunate is San Antonio’s population is the smallest of these 3 Texan NBA areas (combining Dallas and Forth Worth)

Overall Grade: B

Toronto Raptors

Pros

  • Largest Canadian City

  • Only Canadian NBA team

Cons

  • No major playoff success

  • Family Dynamic

The Toronto Raptors have the advantage of being the only NBA team in Canada (RIP Vancouver Grizzlies) and I’d expect that a lot of Canada roots for them. This means an enormous amount of territory could be utilized by the hypothetical Demon GOAT. Toronto is also the most populous city in Canada which means a large pool of people to draw recruits from. Unfortunately the Raptors haven’t seen much playoff success in their time as a franchise, a major reason for this is the entire Raptors team has LeBron James as their father and the hypothetical demon is from a different dimension and thus might not even have a father let alone LeBron James. This would certainly devastate team chemistry and would result in less perennial success than what would be experienced in other franchises.

Overall Grade: B+

Utah Jazz

Pros

  • Young up and coming team

  • State founded by loyal religious folk

  • Strategic Location

Cons

  • Low Population

  • Alcohol Laws

The Utah Jazz have been a team that has never really been super mediocre in recent years but has also never been a top tier team. Hopefully (for me) that changes soon with Donovan Mitchell looking like he might be a legitimate star for the coming years and Rudy Gobert becoming more and more of a defensive stopper every year. With this in combination with a hypothetical demon superstar it makes for a very good likelihood that this team would be a dominant force and would receive much attention allowing the demon to spread his propaganda. In addition to this good team the state of Utah was founded by Mormons who walked all the way across the country out of loyalty towards their leaders. So loyal they were that they even massacred settlers travelling to california . Clearly this type of loyalty is invaluable to a demon who is planning to raise an army of diehard extremists to establish a New World Order. Not only is the population willing to do anything for a cause but Salt Lake City itself is surrounded by mountains and a large (and extremely pungent) lake. This allows for a very easily defended area and the lake itself smells so putrid at times that the smell alone may deter potential invaders from trying anything of the sort. The downsides to this franchise is that the city the franchise is based in has a relatively low population when compared to other NBA cities and the alcohol laws make it so you are unable to buy alcohol that isn’t low proof beer anywhere except for state owned liquor stores. Despite these negatives a possibly fanatic loyal army is an enormous plus when your ambitions include world domination.

Overall Grade: A+

Washington Wizards

Pros

  • Located in the capital of the USA

  • Solid relatively young team

Cons

  • Not a ton of success recently

Unique to the Washington Wizards is that they are the only team in the NBA that is located in the capital of a nation. Being this close to a place of such importance is obviously important for a demon who may be planning on overthrowing current governments and establishing a totalitarian dictatorship. Although the Wizards have been a relatively successful team the past few decades they haven’t really been able to put together a super deep playoff run. It seems though that they do have many pieces required to be a great team with John Wall and Bradley Beal leading and solid role players in other players. Perhaps the hypothetical demon could be the final piece to push this team over the edge and once it could spread it’s doomsday message it could immediately hop over to places of national importance to get a new government started as soon as possible

Overall Grade: A-

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Total Grades

A+: 2 (Los Angeles Lakers, Utah Jazz)

A: 1 (Charlotte Hornets)

A-: 3 (Minnesota Timberwolves, New York Knicks, Washington Wizards)

B+: 6 (Boston Celtics, Golden State Warriors, Houston Rockets, New Orleans Pelicans, Toronto Raptors, Miami Heat)

B: 5 (Brooklyn Nets, Cleveland Cavaliers, Detroit Pistons, Memphis Grizzlies, San Antonio Spurs)

B-: 4 (Dallas Mavericks, Denver Nuggets, Milwaukee Bucks, Oklahoma City Thunder)

C+: 4 (Chicago Bulls, Indiana Pacers, Philadelphia 76ers, Phoenix Suns)

C: 1 (Sacramento Kings)

C-: 1 (Portland Trail Blazers)

D+: 2 (Atlanta Hawks, Orlando Magic)

D: 0

D-: 0

F: 1 (Los Angeles Clippers)

Conclusions: Based on these entirely arbitrary ratings it seems that an interdimensional demon seeking to raise an army should wish to be drafted either by the Los Angeles Lakers or the Utah Jazz as one has many supporters around the country and much media coverage and the other has the advantage of religious zeal and a defensible location. On the opposite side the demon should pray he isn’t drafted by the Los Angeles Clippers as he’ll be drowned out by the other Los Angeles team in the area.

Tl;dr: Lonzo Ball or Donovan Mitchell may be the antichrist.

submitted by /u/Thehealeroftri to r/nba
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Categories: Portland Sports News